


Will You Still Love Me?

by Roselynnism



Category: Banana Bus Squad
Genre: Angst, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Gay, Gay Sex, M/M, Sad, Sad Ending, Self-Harm, Smut, Suicide, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-17
Updated: 2016-11-17
Packaged: 2018-08-31 13:39:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 45
Words: 32,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8580637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roselynnism/pseuds/Roselynnism
Summary: The was first on WattPad. My friend (PewdsCryoticKen) posted it and then I (PandasAreBae) helped write and finish it. It did well so I decided to post it here. I hope you enjoy suffering! :-)





	1. Chapter 1

Delirious P.O.V.

Tonight was a gaming night, but it wasn't for recording. We rarely had these, but they were always hilarious.

Vanoss, Wildcat, and Lui were here tonight and we finally decided on some GTA V.

"Vanoss, where's your car?" I timidly ask, because he was being quiet about it which NEVER turns out well. A slight chuckle from his mic was heard then BAM! I see his car fly and then a 'Wasted' screen pops up, "GOTCHA JONATHAN!" Screams Vanoss.

They all laugh while I try to put together what happened.

"Dude did you just fuckin' teleport your car?!" I ask laughing. Then Wildcat decides to say "No, you idiot. He was hiding it from you because we were planning against you like always."

I say nothing in response, it never usually bothers me that they say these things but he didn't have to say they always plan stuff against me. They do leave me out of a lot of things, Evan tries not to but Tyler always encourages it. Why does he hate me? Why do I have to hate myself? Why do I love Evan? Why?

I fake a yawn and say, "Guys, I've had a long day I think I'm gonna head to bed"

Lui uses his kid voice and yells "Okay, bye Delirious!" I chuckle because I happen to call that guy my best friend.

After I turn my Xbox off and log out of Skype I head to my kitchen and feed my dog.

"Why does everyone hate me?" I ask her. She turns her head at me and whines in response, ignoring her food to rub her head against my hand. "I'm glad you don't hate me." I smile and she heads back over to her food.

When she finishes we head up to bed and fall asleep instantly.

Vanoss P.O.V.

Tonights gonna be awesome! We are having a gaming night without the worry of any recording.

I'm excited because it means more time with Delirious, and the other guys of course. Oh, who am I kidding? Jonathan is the only reason I'm looking forward to this. We all decide GTA V is our best option, and get started.

"Vanoss, where's you car?" I hear Delirious ask. I was sneaking up in him to hit him for a surprise. He was gonna find it hilarious! I finally spot him walking around confused. I speed up and hit him. "GOTCHA JONATHAN!" I scream while laughing. He's quiet for a bit and I only hear the others laughing.

"Dude, did you just fuckin' teleport your car!?" He asks. Before I can say anything Tyler butts in and says, "No, you idiot. He was hiding it from you because we were planning against you like always."

That makes Delirious stop laughing, but I don't fucking say anything. I let Wildcat say that, and now Jonathan thinks its true. Delirious does his signature fake yawn and tells us he had a long day and that he's gonna head to bed. I feel so bad because I still don't say anything. You love him, why are you letting him be hurt, Evan?

When I finally get the nerve to say anything he logs off and I'm left with the guilt. "Tyler, that was a little far that time. You need to stop being such a dick." Lui speaks up and says, "Yeah, dude. Jonathan is already depressed. You aren't helping." Wait, he's depressed? That means we have been making it worse. He never acted like it.

I feel terrible.

Wildcat's only response is "Yeah, whatever." followed by him going offline. "Well, Lui I guess we should head to bed then. Seeya."

"Night, Vanoss"


	2. Chapter 2

Vanoss P.O.V.

I decided to text Delirious since I was finished uploading today. I've known him for so long, but I have still never seen him. I bet he's beautiful.

It took me awhile to get a reply and when I did all it said was "Oh, hi." Is he mad at me? Fuck, he was upset about last night. "I'm so sorry I didn't say anything about what Tyler said last night, I don't plan stuff against you I just try to poke fun with you. I don't know why he is like that. Jonathan, is it true you're depressed?" I quickly replied.

A few minutes later I got a reply, "It's okay, Evan. And yes. Did Lui tell you?" I was shocked at how he knew it was Lui, but they're close so he might have only told him.

I decided against texting back and called him. "Yeah?" "Hey Jonathan, I'm coming over to stay." "But uh I don-" "You can wear your mask. I just need to get away for awhile and you seem like the best person to be around." "Well, okay. Your flight isn't that long so just text me when you land." "Will do"

Delirious P.O.V.

I can't believe Evan is coming here on such short notice! My house looks like shit! My dogs stuff is everywhere and- oh who cares. I think he'll be okay.

I'm nervous to see him, we don't really see each other in real life. I wish I could keep my mask off, but I don't want him to hate me.

I think I worry too much.


	3. Chapter 3

Vanoss P.O.V.

The plane finally landed after what felt like days, but was in fact, only a few hours.

I was nervous to see him, but I finally texted Jonathan that I was here, which he replied, "Thank god, I've been in the parking lot for 40 minutes!" I chuckled.

I waited for my luggage, and when I finally saw the familiar suitcase I quickly grabbed it. The closer I got to the gate where you can see the people waiting for you, the more nervous I became.

Is this going to be awkward? My thoughts were interrupted by a familiar voice saying, "EVAN!" I looked up to see a figure running towards me. "JONATHAN!" He didn't seem to be stopping so I opened my arms, he jumped into them. I felt a blush creep onto my cheeks. We hugged for a little amount of time, but it felt like forever to me. He hopped out of my arms and quickly said, "Sorry I was just excited to finally see you in person." I smiled, "Its fine, I was hoping you would"

Delirious P.O.V.

He..he wanted me to hug him? I shouldn't take my thoughts so far, but I couldn't help but to feel happy after.

"Dude, are you ready for me to kick your ass 1v1?" Evan asked. "YOU WISH! I could beat your ass right now, if you had..uh..less muscles, and happened to be asleep." He smiled at that, which made me realize his smile was one of my favorite features of him.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when Vanoss waved his hand in front of my face. "Huh?" I blurted out. "I asked you which car was yours, what were you staring at dude?" I blushed, good thing he can't see. I decided to avoid the question, "Its the one with the excited pit-bull hanging out of the window!" I yelled. "Ah dude sweet you brought her!?" "Yeah, I knew you would be excited to see her since I always talk about her." He sped up his walk, when we found my car (which my dog was indeed hanging out of the window waiting for my return) Evan quickly put his stuff in and got to know my dog. "She's so cute!" "Hey, you came here to see me, not just her!" I pouted, noting that it would be more effective if he could see me.

"You're right Jonathan I'm sorry" he winked then laughed, "now let's get home, I'm fuckin' tired."

\---

Vanoss P.O.V.

Can we please talk about the fact Jonathan smells fucking AMAZING!?

He has an awkward body posture,which I quickly fell in love with, and holding him felt so....right. I hope he felt that, too. I'm currently sitting in his bed (he insisted that I got his bed since I was his guest) curling up with his covers, wishing it was him.

Maybe he likes me too? I mean he did blush a lot, he probably didn't think I noticed. It shows from his neck a little.

I should get a glass of milk, it usually helps me get to sleep easier.

I crept down the stairs as quiet as I could trying not to wake the sleeping body on the couch. I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw him, his mask wasn't on his face.

It looked like it fell off from he rolling over. I quickly ran back upstairs, and shut the door. Laying on the bed staring at the ceiling, I finally said,

"He's fucking beautiful."


	4. Chapter 4

Delirious P.O.V.

I woke up, and noticed I didn't have messed up vision due to my mask. When I noticed it laying on the ground, I quickly picked it up and put it back on.

"I really hope he didn't see me.." I mumbled to myself.

Hearing a slight thump coming from upstairs, I could tell Evan was awake. Maybe I should start breakfast. Pancakes and bacon? I think yes.

Vanoss P.O.V.

Right when I was getting to the good part in my dream, I rolled over and landed with a loud 'thump' causing me to groan.

"Well, might as well get up now." I said getting up to find a shirt to wear. Deciding on my H2ODelirious shirt ;) I realized I actually did see his face last night.

He was so much better looking than I thought, why doesn't he want to show his face? Is he insecure?

Delirious P.O.V.

"EVAN I KNOW YOU'RE AWAKE COME GET SOME FOOD!" I yelled as loud as possible. "Coming!" I smiled at my pancakes and started to devour them, with my mask on half-way of course. Evan walked into the kitchen wearing one of my shirts which made me giggle. "Hey! That's me!" He smiled, "Yes, it is. Jonathan, that looks difficult. You can take your mask off." I stopped eating and tried to avoid looking at him.

"Please, you can trust me" he stood up and walked over to me, "just let me take it off.." He reached for my mask, I didn't even flinch away.

Vanoss P.O.V.

My hands are shaking as I come in closer to Delirious' mask. When my hand finally grasps it, I slowly pull it off to reveal his beautiful eyes that are avoiding contact with me. He had a long scar going from a part of his forehead to mid-section of his cheek, causing his eye to be grayish white. I ran my fingers along it and he finally looked up at me. "Why have you never shown me your face?"

"I uh, thought you would hate me. I mean I hate me, so I thought y-you would, too" he said his voice getting lower with each word.

"Jonathan, I could never hate you. I mean we have been through everything together, and I'm still here. What makes you think me seeing how amazingly attractive you are will make me leave?"

He looked up at me shocked, causing me to smile and wiggle my eyebrows.

Delirious P.O.V.

"I, you, I'm not-" His stern look interrupted my objection. "Jonathan, you believing that you aren't handsome is your own thing. I know you are, and I will prove to you that you are, too. Now, eat your pancakes."

"Okay MommaVanoss." I mumbled "What'd you say?" "Nothing!"


	5. Chapter 5

Delirious P.O.V.

After our breakfast I told Evan I was gonna take a shower, which I did...but the voices started. What I mean by that is the "He's lying Delirious, he thinks you're hideous" and "Stop trusting him, Delirious."

The voices started screaming and I could barely hear the fan in my bathroom. Squeezing my head and whispering "Please, stop." the voices only intensified. I couldn't stop the sobs that erupted from my throat.

Under all the noise I didn't notice the door slowly opening to reveal Vanoss.

"J-Jonathan?" The voices came to an abrupt halt as I looked up at Evan. He frowned and picked me up bridal style, taking me to my bed. Without hesitating he got in right after and let me cry on his chest. "Jonathan, what happened?"

I tried hiding my face in his shirt as if that would stop him from seeing me.

Vanoss P.O.V.

Finding Delirious in the bathroom crying completely shattered my heart. He was mumbling please stop while clutching his head, I wish he would tell me what he wanted to stop...

"Please, tell me what's wrong." Delirious sniffed and looked up at me, "T-the voices came b-back but you stopped them, Evan!" He quickly said before going back to hiding on my chest. "The voices?" I asked "Yes, the ones that make me feel worthless." He mumbled into my shirt. "You aren't worthless, do you hear me? You are absolutely perfect the way you are. What do you mean I made them stop?" "Whenever I saw you they stopped talking to me c-completely." I was shocked by this, of course, because that means he personally cares for me at a whole different level than I thought. "I don't think I'm going home Delirious."

"But why?" "I'd feel better if I stayed with you" "but-" "You aren't going to convince me otherwise." He let out a sigh but moved to where his head was close to my neck and our legs were tangled. "Are you tired?" I asked, only getting the reply of heavy breathing.

'He's. Asleep. On. Me.'

Were the only thoughts passing through my mind. I couldn't help the blush on my face, this is the best thing that's happened since I got here! I want to tell him that I love him, even if he doesn't feel the same it will be off my chest right?

But I'm a coward, I can't do it! I need to! Fuck.

I pull the covers over both of us and decide to let him sleep, until my eyes close and I soon fall asleep.

\---

Delirious P.O.V.

I wake up and feel a warm presence pressing me to them, my eyes flutter open to see Vanoss smiling and holding me close to him, sleeping. He looks so adorable. WAIT he's holding me And smiling?!

I'm not going to lose this moment, so I scoot closer to him and he gladly welcomes me into the embrace. I wish I could stay this way forever, he's helped me more than he will ever know.

I decide to be brave and kiss his cheek, because something was telling me to in the back of my mind, I just hope he isn't awake.

Vanoss P.O.V.

I wake up because of the stirring of Delirious beside me. I decide to not open my eyes to see if he leaves, but he doesn't.

He scoots closer, which I accept by holding him tighter. I thought he would fall back to sleep, until he moves again, but to my face, then kisses my cheek.

What?

Its hard to hide the blush approaching but he fortunately goes back to being against my neck, thank god.


	6. Chapter 6

Vanoss P.O.V.

I never want to get out of this bed, ever.

Lying with him is probably the best thing....ever, I'm just glad we set up videos made to upload ever so often. That just means more time to be lazy with him, which obviously is something he needs.

He worries about everyone else too much, he even makes sure strangers are happy before himself.

No one ever notices when someone is depressed, because the person is always trying to put up a front and make others comfortable...I guess that's why I never noticed.

Delirious moves a bit, interrupting my thoughts,but doesn't fall out of my arms. I look down at him and smile at how tight he's holding onto me. "I'm not gonna let go, Jonathan." I whisper and he loosens up a bit. I chuckle at this, why have I never visited before? Why can't you just tell him you like him? A voice whispers. I shudder and look down at him again.

I will, I have to.

Delirious P.O.V.

I feel a warmth around me and realize Evan is still lying with me, which means he hasn't left me. That has to he a good sign, right?

I decide it's probably time to get up and let my eyes flutter open. "Well, good morning sleeping beauty."

Evan chuckles.

"Shut uuup you're just comfy!" When I look up at him I'm completely awestruck at how cute he looks, his hair is messed up, making him look like a child.

I rub the sleepiness from my eyes, "what time is is?"

Evan pulls out his phone, flinching at the brightness (a/n is it bad I've had that happen a lot?) until he adjusts to it and says, "um 4:30 am."

How the fuck did I sleep that long? "That's the most sleep I've had in a while!" Evan only smiles in response, "uh, can I tell you something, Jonathan?" I know its something big, because Evan NEVER gets nervous, and right now, he looks like he's a terrified chihuahua.

"Of course, Evan. Just tell me" I try to comfort him, "you can tell me anything!"

He looks at me and sits up, making me fall in the process to where he mumbles an apology.

"Evan..?" I whisper while sitting up as well

"I-I love you, Jonathan." He says before attaching his lips to mine.


	7. Chapter 7

Delirious P.O.V.

I wake up to an obnoxious ringing from my laptop, what time is it?

I pull myself out of bed to see its about one in the afternoon, Who is calling me at this ungodly hour?

I look at my laptop's screen to see 'Vanoss is calling'. I click answer and immediately get greeted by a shirtless Vanoss, I feel my face start to turn red.

"Oh, Sup Delirious? Thought it would take more tries to wake you up." He laughs

"How many times did you try?"

"Only 2, its a new record!"

"Hahaha very funny." I smile, even though my camera is off.

"You wanna play gta or just talk?"

"I'd rather just talk I don't feel like getting out of bed."

"Okay, what do you wanna talk about?"

"I dunno, you find yourself a girlfriend yet?" I mumble not wanting a 'yes' answer.

Evan coughs awkwardly and messes with his fingers, "No."

"Do you like anyooooone?" I say mockingly.

"Yes." Evan adverts his eyes anywhere but towards the webcam.

"Aw are you blushing? Who's the lucky gal?"

Evan stops moving his fingers,

"Y'know it doesn't always have to be a girl... I'm not saying it isn't, just that it doesn't have to be."

I stay silent for a moment, I can't tell if he's hinting that he's gay, or that he thinks I am.

I finally speak up, "You're right, but if it isn't a guy then why did you mention it?"

"I just uh I- Hey did you hear about the fight last night?"

I sigh at his change of subject, but don't bother with pushing him. "Yeah, I did. Fell asleep before I could watch though, was it good?"

"I call bullshit on the win!"

Vanoss P.O.V.

"Do you like anyoooone?" Delirious teases.

"Yes" I quickly answer trying not to look at the screen. I feel my face start to heat up, please don't notice.

"Aw, are you blushing? Who's the lucky gal?"

"Y'Know, it doesn't always have to be a girl....Im not saying that it isn't just that it doesn't have to be." I quickly say before I can stop myself.

Delirious stays quiet for a bit and then says, "You're right, but if it isn't a guy then why did you mention it?"

My breath catches in my throat, "I just I uh- hey did you see the fight last night?" I try to change the subject.

He can't know its him, it will ruin everything.

I hear him sigh before saying, "Yeah, I did. Fell asleep before I could watch it though, was it good?"

"I call bullshit on the win!"

\------

Its about 4 am and Delirious and I have been on Skype since we woke up.

"Hey, Delirious?"

"Yup?"

"Can I tell you something? You have to promise that you won't get mad at me."

"Of course, dude. What's up?"

"I think I'm gay."

I hear Delirious clear his throat, "Why do you think that?"

"I haven't been attracted to any girls since 10th grade."

There's a pause.

"So that means, it is a guy you like?" Delirious laughs

"Damnt , Jonathan!" I yell

"You love meeee"

"Yeah, yeah."

He will never know how much I actually love him.


	8. Chapter 8

Delirious P.O.V.

My mind was completely blank as Evan had his lips to mine.

I didn't realize I wasn't kissing back until Evan nudged my lips, causing to immediately kiss him back.

He smiled into the kiss and laid me back onto the bed, giving him the advantage. I wrapped my arms around his neck and desperately tried deepening the kiss, until

His doorbell rang.

Pulling away and sighing Evan said, "I'll get it."

I stayed there and stared at the ceiling, Evan kissed me AND said he loved me.

I heard voices downstairs, then footsteps heading back to the room.

Vanoss poked his head in and said, "Wildcat's here, you might wanna put your mask on."

I could tell he didn't want me to, "No." He looked up at me surprised.

"What?"

"I'll keep it off, I don't know if I should come down, though. He really does not like me."

"That's fine, do whatever makes you comfortable." He smiled.

After Evan shut the door and headed back down to see Wildcat the voices came back.

Why out of all people did he have to be here?!

\---Vanoss doesn't love you, Wildcat set this up.---

I closed my eyes and tried to ignore the voices by thinking of anything I could.

Anything BUT Tyler.

Then a image of Evan smiling ran through my mind, once again silencing the agonizing voices.

I decided to go downstairs, because staying up here does make me look like a wuss.

Half-way down the stairs, I heard laughing, and then, "Yeah, you should've seen his face after I pulled away. He totally believed me!" Then more laughing.

Were they talking about me?

Tyler's voices replied to Evan's, "Dude, that's fuckin' hilarious!"

They had to be talking about me, I ran back up the stairs and hid under my blankets, causing my dog to jump up beside my and lay as close to me as she could, whining a little.

I hid my face and started sobbing, why?

I thought you didn't hurt the people you love?

Vanoss P.O.V.

"Yeah, you shoulda seen his face when I pulled away, he totally believed me!" I made the mistake of saying, just because I didn't want Wildcat believing I was actually gay.

"Dude, that's fuckin' hilarious!"

After that was said, I heard footsteps running back up the stairs, telling me I made a big mistake.

\--

"Well, I think I'm gonna head out now, I gotta get to MiniLadd's (ayeeeee) before he kills me."

"Alright, dude."

\--

I slowly walked up the stairs, to the guy I was dreading to see.

Why would I say that knowing he might hear it?

I tried being quiet as I opened the door, seeing a sleeping Delirious.

I walked over to the sleeping body, and saw his tear stained face.

I honestly have no explanation as to why I said something so stupid.

I don't think he's going to forgive me.

I honestly don't think I deserve it.

I wrap my arms around him and pull him closely to my chest and kiss his forehead, definitely not sleeping tonight.

\-----

Its about 3AM and Delirious is still asleep in my arms, but I've just been finding the different textures of the ceiling. Turns out, ceilings are full of different points- okay I need to stop.

Delirious looks completely peaceful when he's asleep, I hope that isn't too creepy.

I feel something moving then I realize Jonathan is trembling, because of a nightmare I assume.

He jumps up and starts gasping for air, scaring the shit outta me.

"Jonathan?" I whisper.

He jumps and looks at me, obviously surprised I'd even lay with him after the shit I pulled.

He stares at me waiting for me to say something, "Are you okay?"

"What do you mean?"

"You jumped up pretty abruptly from your sleep."

"Oh, just a bad dream. Did Wildcat actually come over today?"

I wait a moment for replying, lying is not a good option right now. "Yes."

He looks away from me after I say this, "So I actually heard you say that?"

"Yes. I only said it because I thought I shouldn't tell him I'm gay, but I promise you I didn't mean it! I'll even call him in the morning and tell him I actually meant what I did with you! I actually really love you and I'm so-" I'm interrupted by Delirious lying back onto my chest and saying, "You ramble whenever you truly mean something, you always do it. I believe you."

I smile and hold him, "Do you want to tell me about your dream?"

"I was in the middle of nowhere, and then I dropped into water and couldn't swim up, so I started drowning."

"Look at me."

He shuffled around until he could look at my face, and then I kissed him. "You should really go back to sleep now, its almost 4 in the morning."

"I'll sleep if you sleep" he giggled.

So, we did.


	9. Chapter 9

Wildcat P.O.V.

Time felt like it was going as slow as possible while I was trying to get to MiniLadd's house. I missed him, I wish I could have told Evan about us, but I felt uncomfortable. I knew he didn't mean what he was saying, but for some reason I just couldn't tell him.

It felt like hours before I finally saw Craig's house, sighing in relief I pulled into his driveway and turned off my car.

I hesitated before going to open my door, the whole reason I went to see Evan and Jonathan was to tell them about us, but I didn't do it.

Sighing and finally getting out, I reluctantly walked to his door and knocked. I heard a voice say "Coming!" Not calming my nerves at all.

I heard the door unlock and then I saw his face, making my heart drop. He always looks so fucking gorgeous.

"Hi." I whispered. He smiled and pulled me into the house, I sat on the couch and stared at the floor.

I heard an annoyed sigh and felt the couch sink in next to me, "Why won't you look at me?"

"I didn't tell Evan." I still refused to look up at him as he jumped up and stood in front of me.

"Why not!? That was the whole point of you going over there!"

"I know and I'm sorry!" I finally stared at his distressed face, begging for him to let it go.

"I'm gonna go shower." He finally said.

"Are you mad at me? Please, I'm sorry." I said grabbing at the bottom of his shirt.

He pried my fingers off, "I'll talk to you when I get out of the shower."

\----

Delirious P.O.V.

I don't think the voices will ever be happy, Evan intimidates them, makes them shut up while he's around.

Evan's not here right now, though. He went out to get groceries and went to the airport to pick up some more of his stuff to keep in my house.

The voices were telling me to hurt myself, telling me how I deserve it.

I do miss the feeling of being in control of my own pain, but I don't want to disappoint Evan.

Maybe taking a shower will help me clear my thoughts? Wrong.

I forgot I hide my razors up on the top of the shower, only making my head to crave them more.

-( next part is triggering and I just want you to know this shouldn't be an option but not everyone can see that, which is how Delirious is in this story I'll have another thing like this to show you its over)-

Shakily reaching for my razor I feel around before my finger feels the cold metallic, grabbing it I stare at it, causing my breaths to become more and more shallow.

I must have stood there for a good 5 minutes, just letting the water run down my body as I stared at the razor.

'Do it' one of the voices finally screams, and my hand goes directly to my hip and starts slicing, causing blood to flow down my leg.

'Why are you doing this to yourself?' A voice that sounds like Evan's says in my head.

I stop, put the blade back and let the water mix in with my blood.

Why did I do this? I look at my hip and see I made about 5 deep-ish cuts.

I turn off the water and grab a towel, wrapping it around my body I look for bandages. Finding one that's the right side, I place it onto my hip and get dressed.

-( Its over now)-

I decide to lie down and wait for Evan to get home.

Going through the self-loathing process isn't exactly fun, I wish I didn't do it for once. I just hope Evan doesn't notice, I don't want to see how he will react.

Vanoss P.O.V.

You know that feeling you get in your chest? The one where you feel like something has gone totally wrong but you can't figure out what?

That's how I started feeling once I arrived at the airport. I couldn't just go back home (a/n which would be Delirious' house now.) because it took me about an hour to get here. It shouldn't even take me but about 20 minutes or less to get all my stuff loaded, anyways.

\--23 minutes later--

Well I was wrong about the timing, but I can finally get home to see Jonathan, I've missed him all day.

That feeling in my chest hasn't gone away yet.

-Yet another time skip back to their house-

After unloading everything by myself, because Delirious was asleep, I decided to take a shower because I honestly smelled like a wet dog.

I grabbed my clothes and hopped into the shower, but I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. Something...shiny? I turned my head trying to find the source, and spotted it on the top of the shower wall, I grabbed it.

My heart sank, is this his razor?

This blood has to be old, he couldn't have done this while I was gone, could he?

I felt rage surge through me, but not towards him. To the blasted voices and the blades, I looked over the shower wall for more and found about 4 more.

I placed them onto his sink counter and put clothes on. I walked into our room and look at Delirious' wrists, nothing.

But I noticed the little blood stain on his shirt, and lifted it up to see the bandage.

Biting my lip to keep from letting my tears fall, I shook Jonathan awake. He woke up and smiled but noticed I saw what he was trying to hide.

Grabbing his hand I pulled him into the bathroom, I stared into his eyes, "Jonathan, you are so much better than this, I will show you that. First, we need to take a big step, only if you're willing?"

Tears were forming in his eyes, "W-What's the step?"

"You need to flush the blades."

He took in a sharp breath before looking at them, "But they've been here for me so long."

"I'm here for you now."

He nodded his head, and smiled at me.

I kissed his forehead, and he finally picked them up and dropped them into the toilet.

He finally flushed them, and then looked back up to me.

"I love you, Evan."

"And I love you, Jonathan."


	10. Chapter 10

Wildcat's P.O.V.

He stayed in the shower for about an hour before finally coming out, of course avoiding eye contact with me.

"Craig, just look at me for fucks sake!" I finally said.

He flinched at my harsh tone, but turned around and looked at me and whispered, "I just feel like you're embarrassed to be with me.."

"Don't say that, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me."

He smiled a bit then laid in bed next to me, opening my arms I let him rest his head on my chest.

(Someone help me with their plot so I can put more for them.)

Delirious P.O.V.

Today Vanoss insisted on going to a fair, which is fine, but he doesn't want to act like a couple, I guess is how you could put it.

He will joke around with me and sometimes say he loves but that's the most I've gotten from him.

"Oooh oooh Jonathan lets go to the fun house!" A very non-manly Evan screams.

"Haha, okay. How old are we? 10?"

"Shut up and just come with me."

We got into the fun house and the first thing that Evan noticed was the mirror that made you really tall, he ran straight to it leaving me at the door of the house. I decided to wander elsewhere so he could enjoy himself.

A few chuckles at myself and the mirrors later, I heard giggling coming from one of the hallways.

As a naturally nosy person I decided to follow the noise to see what was creating it.

Turning the final corner, I found where the giggling was coming from.

My face went completely red with anger as I watched a half-"dressed" girl flirting with an oblivious Evan.

I tried to keep myself calm, 'he isn't ready to come out to people yet' I kept telling myself. Which worked, until she put her hand on his chest and started going lower, causing Evan's smile to disappear and my anger to go past the point of needless envy.

Without thinking, I ran over to Evan and pushed the chick off him and looked her dead in the eye and saying, "He's taken, bitch." Then slamming my lips to Evan.

Big. Fucking. Mistake.


	11. Chapter 11

Vanoss P.O.V.

As I ran around the fun house, I realized Delirious wasn't following me anymore. He probably just went a different way, he does want me to have my own fun sometimes.

I miss him though, when he laughs at some of the stuff I do I get all fuzzy inside.

I guess I was too into my thinking, because the next thing I knew was me running into a mirror and getting scared of my own damn reflection.

I slowly turn my body as I hear giggling coming from behind me.

I lay my eyes on a girl not too far from me, "Uh, hi." I say.

"Hi" she giggles, which is getting fucking annoying.

"Did you, uh, see that?"

"I did" she giggles a g a i n. Jonathan's giggles are so much better, especially when he tries to hide them.

"Well, I meant to do it."

"Oh really?" She says taking a few steps towards me, causing me to take a step back.

"Yeah. I'm a professional, mirror-runner into!" I say.

"Didn't know that was a thing," She giggles and steps in front of me, "So tell me, what are you doing walking all alone, handsome?" She whispers, trying to be seductive I'm guessing.

"Looking for a friend, actually. What about you?"

"Looking for someone to....please." She purrs (a/n um ok)

"W-What do you mean by that?" I nervously answer as she backs me into the wall, putting her hand onto my chest.

Is she flirting with me?

I hear footsteps speeding towards where we are, and then she's gone.

I'm still in shock from her even touching me, until I hear a familiar voice say, "He's taken, bitch." And a pair of lips on mine.

Is Delirious really doing this in public?

I don't want to not react because that makes me seem ashamed, so I kiss back until he pulls away, causing me to hide my face in his chest.

"Faggots." I hear he say while getting up. (A/n is it bad it bothered me to type that or?)

"Whore." Jonathan shot back, causing me to chuckle.

\--

Delirious P.O.V.

I feel Vanoss laugh against my chest after the last of my anger leaks out from my insult.

I feel terrible, I knew he wasn't ready to tell people much less kiss each other in public.

I back away from him and turn to walk out of the fun house, not caring to check if he's following or not.

"Jonathan..?" A small voice whispers, making me stop.

I hear a few footsteps before a hand grabs mine, intertwining our fingers.

I still don't look towards Evan, "We're in public, Evan, people might see us."

"I don't care about that anymore, I'd rather be happy with you and lose some homophobic fans than hide what we have." He said, gripping my hand tighter.

Putting a small smile onto my face, I led him out of the fun house, and towards the exit of the fair, "Wanna go get some ice cream?" I smirked

"YES!" He practically screamed.

"Huh, and I'M the childish one."

"Shut up!" He laughed, pushing me some.

\---

After getting ice cream and basically licking it off each others' faces (don't ask) we finally got home.

I decided to upload a random Gmod video me and Evan edited together, as he had already got his editing and uploading done.

After uploading it, I quickly sent out a tweet that said "New Gmod Sandbox video up! (:" and smiled at the immediate responses, until I started seeing

'You and Vanoss are gay for each other!?'

And

'#H20VanossIsReal!'

I looked under the trending hashtag to see pictures of us holding hands leaving to fair and then the fighting over the ice cream.

I stared at the screen, not knowing what to say or do.

"Delirious, what's up? You look a little scared." Evan said walking into the room with a cup of juice.

I pushed my self away from the computer and put my head into my hands.

Vanoss hesitantly walked over to the computer and dropped his cup.

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?"

"Vanoss, we can fix i-"

"NO SHUT UP. I TOLD YOU WE SHOULDN'T SHOW AFFECTION IN PUBLIC BUT YOU HAD TO HOLD MY HAND AND KISS ME DIDNT YOU!?" He yelled in my face

"Evan you told me you wanted to" I cried

"NO SHUT THE FUCK UP JUST DONT EVEN TALK TO ME RIGHT NOW."

I nodded and ran upstairs, locking myself in the bathroom.


	12. Chapter 12

Vanoss P.O.V

Fuck Delirious, of course he would do this! I told him this would happen if we tried anything in public.  
He always gets jealous all the time, couldn't he see I didn't want her there, either?

I'm not really mad at him but at the situation. My entire career could be gone and all kinds of crap could go down just because of him and his fucking jealousy problems.

Wildcat...fuck, he's definitely going to do something about this and if delirious hears, he'll probably turn back to self harm. He keeps saying he will do it but hasn't acted yet. I'm glad, he's such a wonderful person I couldn't bear to see him hurt himself over some petty shit online.

I felt bad about what I said, I could hear his voice breaking as he was about to cry, I don't want to do that too him. I walked up to the bathroom and knocked softly. "Delirious?" I called out. I heard a pitter-patter towards the door, the door opened slightly. "Yeah" he practically whispered. His voice was raspy and barely audible, he looked like a ghost. "Jonathan...I....my god I'm-"  
"It's fine, I'll make up some excuse and hopefully it'll pass, sorry for ruining your image" he said slipping past me and walking into his room, locking the door behind him.

For something that seemed to go in slow motion it was taking me a while to process. "no...NO NO" I shouted pounding on his door "I DON'T CARE WHAT THEY THINK....I only care for you". I fell to my knees, my head leaning against the door. A faint sigh was let go beyond the door but the door didn't open. " I'm sorry...." I breathed as I walked towards the front door.  
(A/N sorry for the amount I times I wrote door xD)

Delirious P.O.V

"I'm sorry" was what broke the silence. I heard Evan stand up and walk away. The front door clicked close softly, I walked over to my window and saw Vanoss get in his car and drive off. Silent tears started to line my face.

I unlocked the door and went downstairs, aimlessly walking from room to room. I jumped when my stomach growled,breaking the empty void in the house. I explored the fridge in hope for a quick snack and decided on some toast with cheese. I place the bread in the toaster and got the cheese out. I reached out for a knife, my fingers touching the cool metal. Picking it up I got caught in a long stare. "It will make the pain go away, let the pain seep out" the voices whispered in my head. I lined the knife with a vein in my wrist but I got some common sense and threw it in the basin.

I ate the toast plain and sat on the sofa, letting my thoughts take me away. Unfortunately, they all lead back to Evan, I sighed " come back.... I miss you"


	13. Chapter 13

Wildcat P.O.V

Mini has refused to talk to me for days now, he thinks I don't care about our relationship but I do!  
It's not easy to come out to your friend especially after what he said, "Yeah, you shoulda seen his face when I pulled away, he totally believed me", Evans words paced around my head, I know I made fun of Delirious all the time but he had gotten personal, what would he of done if I came out there?

I went onto twitter to tweet the guys and ask of they wanted to record tonight, when something in the 'World Trends' caught my eye.  
#h2ovanoss  
#vanlirious  
#h2ovanossisreal  
Errr....what? I clicked on the trend to be greeted by many pictures of Evan and Delirious holding hands and kissing at a fair.

"Holy shit" I thought "Evan and Delirious are gay for each other". All kinds of things ran through my mind that I could say, I could fucking crush them. Chuckling at myself I stood up and called Mini.

Miniladd P.O.V

Why couldn't Tyler tell Evan?  
Did he not love me?  
Was he embarrassed by me?  
He says he tried but I don't believe him, if he likes me as much as he says he does, he would've told him.

Speak of the devil he's calling me. I couldn't stay mad, I wanted to hear his voice again so I answered it.

"Hi" I greeted in a forced flat tone. "Babe, look. Lighten up okay? I got something for you"  
"What could you possibly have to fix this" I replied, optimistic. (a/n mini wants it (; )  
"Check the trends on twitter"  
"Fucking hell, that's all you got" I asked rolling my eyes "Just check it" he giggled. I logged into twitter and I immediately saw tons of '#h2oVanoss'.

"Do you see it" Tyler said, you practically taste the smile on his face.  
"Yeah, I do. What the fuck is this?"  
"We could reck Delirious with this shit! I bet the gay twats are fucking freaking at this already".

I stayed quite and gripped the phone tight.  
"Babe....you there?"  
"Don't call me babe if you think I'm a gay twat" I spat through gritted teeth.  
"What, no what I didn't mean it that way, just wait a sec" he rushed.  
I gave him a momentto explain but all he could say is random gibberish." Mate" Wildcat paused "fuck you" and the phone line went dead.


	14. Chapter 14

Vanoss P.O.V.

I couldn't deal with myself for yelling at Delirious for something that wasn't even fully his fault.  
He didn't try to show us off in public  
I told him it was fine  
He didn't take the pictures and show them all over Twitter  
I insisted we go on a date, knowing PDA is involved.

Why did I blame him?  
I was just frustrated.  
I love him, and everything about him. Even his jealousy. It makes me feel like he actually cares.

I see a sign say 'Airport' and decide I need to figure out if I'm actually going to leave, or if I'm going back.

If I leave, he will get worse, I'll start hating myself and missing him more than ever, and we probably won't be able to fix this.

If I stay I actually have to admit my own mistake, which I hate doing.

'You love him, Evan. You can't just leave. He will forgive you no matter what, you guys were made for each other'

I hear someone say, they aren't wrong.

I pull into a nearby driveway and back out, pulling onto the street to get me back to our house.

\---  
I didn't even realize I was crying until I pulled into the driveway.  
I probably stared at the house crying for 10 minutes until I finally got out with flowers in my hand, yeah, flowers. I just want him to forgive me. I feel empty without him..

Finding the key under the mat, I unlock the door and hear someone moving stuff in the kitchen.  
"Jonathan?" I decide to call out  
The movement stops, and I hear fast footsteps coming my way.  
"EVAN!" He practically screams, running straight to me and jumping in my arms, flinching a bit as he made contact.  
I held him there until I got my courage to admit what I did wrong.  
I slowly let go of him and place him down, "Jonathan."  
He looked at me, "I-I'm sorry."  
His face showed confusion, "What? Why? You didn't do anything. It was my fault, I shouldn't have gotten so jealous. I should be sorry, I made you leave. And I knew it wo-"  
I interrupt him, "Stop. Blaming. Yourself. Do you hear me? You did nothing wrong, your jealousy wasn't your fault. The fact I said it was okay for us to show our love in public was my fault, you knew it would turn out like this, but I didn't listen. I only blamed it on you, and I'm sorry, Jonathan. I love you more than anything and I even went to get you flowers," I say showing him them, which he smiles and takes, " you make me feel things I tried to shut out. I never wanted you to know I loved you, hell, I never wanted to love anybody. Because even if you felt the same I would fuck it up. And as you can tell, It happens from me becoming overly aggressive."  
I finally look straight at him, and he's crying.  
"Evan, I don't care about your flaws. I fell in love with you, and you can't just scare me away that easily you idiot." He smiles.  
I let out a breath I didn't even notice I was holding, and pull him into my arms again.

But this time, he pulls away, quickly kissing me on the lips, before speaking up.  
"Evan. I didn't think you were going to come back."  
I raise my eyebrows, not knowing where he's going with this.  
He swallows, and puts the flowers down onto the coffee table.  
"I blamed myself entirely, and yo- you weren't there to stop the voices." His voice starts to crack a bit.  
He mumbles, "I'm sorry."

His hands reach down to the bottom of his shirt and he slowly pulls it up, revealing a new cut, no, carving of the words 'fuck up' into his stomach.

I feel like everything slows down around me, and I can feel myself crying. I hear Jonathan saying my name, but I can't hear him.

My legs give away and I hit the floor and then....black.


	15. Chapter 15

Delirious P.O.V  
"Evan,Evan talk to me" I begged before he collapsed to the floor. I stood there, shocked and wide eyed. He didn't move, blink or do anything. I got down next to him and shook him."Evan please, please wake up". He didn't stir from his slumber. He was cold and pale but he was breathing.

I ran and grabbed my phone and dialed 911. Soon enough the ambulance arrived and took him to the hospital, I didn't feel good enough to go so I stayed at home. I refused to show the doctors in the ambulance my 'fuck up' cut, so I sat at the front door step and watched them drive away.

I was shaking badly and was hearing things like the door open or some coming up behind me. I thought I just needed a glass of water so I went to the kitchen but I collapsed to my knees since I couldn't hold my own weight. I saw a glimpse of my shirt in the fall, it's was painted red. I had the urge to puke so I got up fast but that was a mistake, I threw up on the spot. I was shaking worse than ever now, black started to creep in from the corners of my eyes as I slowly crept into unconsciousness. I tried to hold myself up on the kitchen counter but failed. I was soon surrounded in darkness.

Vanoss P.O.V

I woke up in a hospital bed at some point during visiting hours. The noise from the visitors was making my head ache so I put my head under my pillow and tried to remember what happened.

The memory of Delirious's cut stuck out like a sore thumb, he had to of been in the ambulance as well.

I called the nurse over and asked about him. "Sorry sir" she said with an apologetic look "he didn't come with you. We can call him so he can come see you if you like". My mind had a way of making delirious's cuts seem more graphic than they were but I remembered it looking bad. "Nurse, he was injured. Are you sure he didn't come with us" I asked persistently, "No I'm sure of it, but if he's injured we could go out and see him, where do you live?". I gave her the address and thanked her. I lay my head down listening to her pumps hitting off the floor tiles as she walked away. Thinking I had done well, I had a nap.

I was awoken later by a commotion going on. "He's lost about 2 pints of blood and wasn't responding when we it there, he's bound to be dead!" Said a nurse, " I know the odds look bad but maybe he is just unresponsive due to the blood loss, just get him into the A&E ward and see what we have to deal with" responded the doctor. I looked up to see what was going on. Nurses and doctors were running around all over the place for this patient. I tried to look over all the heads to see who it was but then for a split second a clear line divided for me too see who it was. I wanted to scream but nothing came out. Lying on the bed was a deathly pale Delirious.


	16. Chapter 16

Delirious P.O.V

Tonight was a gaming night, but it wasn't for recording. We rarely had these, but they always were hilarious.

Vanoss, Wildcat and Lui were here tonight and we finally decided on GTA V.

"Vanoss, where's your car?" I timidly ask, because he was being quiet about it which NEVER turns out well. A slight chuckle from his mic was heard then BAM! I see his car fly then a 'Wasted' screen pops up. "GOTCHA JONATHAN!" Screams Vanoss.

They all laugh while I try to put together what had just happened.

"Dude did you just fuckin' teleport your car?!" I ask laughingly. Then Wildcat decides to say "No, you idiot. He was hiding it from you because we were planning against you like always."  
I remembered this faintly, how I did nothing and let him walk all over me. Well not this time.

"Shut the fuck up you pubey beard, speccy bowl haired cunt." I know he didn't have a bowl hair cut but I didn't care. "What?" He said, he sounded kind of surprised. " I said shut the fuck up, I have had enough of your shit. I am a normal person just like you and I have a limit, you mother fucker... have just gone over it."

I paused too see what he would say but everyone was quiet. " I am done with your shit and letting you get to me. You might want to learn how to suck your own dick wildcat cus' I'm sure no one is going to want to suck he dick of a 23 year old virgin."

Suddenly, all the lights went out. "Vanoss? Evan, you there?" I called out. A bright white light shone above me, " Evan you up there?". 'He probably can't hear me' I thought, so I went towards it.

Vanoss P.O.V

"Jonathan" I whispered to my self. Patients were muttering to each other about him, I could hear them. " I've never seen someone that pale, he's probably already dead". That was the only one that stood out to me. The thought of him dead, limp, lifeless. I just couldn't see him like that.

"DELIRIOUS" I scream, following the way the bed had gone with him. Nurses were calling after me but to hell with them. My love was probably on his death and I couldn't leave him like that.

I finally found the room he was, he was surrounded by doctors and nurses, each tending to his stomach. I pushed through them all and got down beside him,holding his hand, stroking the back of it hand with my thumb. " you're going to be okay, okay? Just wake up and I'll be here. I'm okay and I think you are too. Come on delirious, wake up. We can go home and play GTA and eat lots of food and cuddle and sleep and do anything you want!" I rambled on hoping my word would bring him to consciousness. "Please" I whispered.

Then a heard a long beep come from his heart monitor.


	17. Chapter 17

Vanoss P.O.V  
"JONATHAN, NO!" I erupt, I won't have this! It's all my fault, if I had said something or better yet, done something about Wildcat he wouldn't of turned to self harm and this wouldn't of happened. "ITS ALL MY FAULT"

Doctors drag me out of the room against my will, pulling me to my bed and give me a dose or morphine. I slowly slip into a sleep. Covered in my own tears.

Delirious P.O.V

"JONATHAN, NO!" is heard faintly behind me. "Evan? What the fuck you doing in the dark you crazy bastard" I laugh running towards his voice, but soon I am engulfed in darkness, losing my sense of direction. It's cold and dark, I can't see a thing.

I collapse on the ground due alto a heavy weight gain on my muscles. "what the f-". My eyelids slowly droop, I'm slightly scared.

Once again a bright light shines in my face. "I'm coming Evan" I encouraged myself and ran towards the light.  
.

.

.

.

I woke up on a hospital bed, my stomach pounding. I knew what was happening next and could only say one word, "Bucket". The nurse passed me a basin as I puked the remains of my stomach before breaking into a sweat and lying down.

The pain in my stomach was unbearable so I curled up into a ball and whispered Evans name over and over. This gave me some relief

(A/n don't want to bore you guys with long hospital chapters so I'm skipping to when they go home)

~time skip~  
Delirious P.O.V  
Vanoss carries the majority of my weight as we walk into the house. I was all okay again and didn't need help but vanoss insisted, and who was I to say no to my very muscular boyfriend wanting to carry me everywhere?

As fun as it was to be carried, I wanted to stand in my own two feet for a while. Vanoss said sure but he was always a little bit behind me, just in case.

I started to make a sandwich when I see vanoss leaning on the kitchen door frame, "Whatcha want?" I asked him. He strode up to me pulled me into a hug, my arms round his neck and his arms round my waist. " I was worried about you" he told me, playing with the end of my hoodie, " I thought you were dead".

We stood in silence just holding each other. I felt the back of my hoodie get wet. "Hey, I'm okay now, don't worry" I reassured him, "okay" Vanoss replied, smiling.

I pecked him on the lips and looked down, slightly embarrassed.  
He put his finger under my chin and made me look at him, then he brought me into a proper kiss. We wrapped our arms around each other, kissing passionately. I pulled away for breath. I looked up at him and said  
"I love you, so much."  
"I love you too, Delirious."

Authors note  
I'm not that insensitive am I? Don't worry I'd have to be retarded to kill off Delirious.

I know it's short but I just wanted to clear this up so I can find a new topic to go on. Also I was going to do some smutty action ;-) but I don't know if you guys would want that, so tell me if you do

See ya guys, Baii  
-PandasAreBae  
And now its my turn to please your MiniCat needs and bc I just wanted to write (-:  
-PewdsCryaoticKen

Wildcat's P.O.V.

'fuck you' were the harsh words running through my mind at the moment. What did I do?  
Am I really that big of an asshole?  
I mean sure I make fun of Delirious, But I'd never do Mini like that, he means too much to me. Maybe that's why he deems me selfish.

I never truly mean to hurt Delirious, I just for some reason despise the fact he's so open with being gay.  
I can barely talk about it to Mini.

I can see now that my selfishness and my lack of courage is leading to the failure of the relationship I've always wanted to have.  
I would call him again, but I have a feeling he wouldn't want to talk to me.  
I'm currently just staring at his house, I know I shouldn't get out because it would turn out terribly.  
I just want to hold him again.  
I love you, Craig.

MiniLadd's P.O.V.

I regret how harshly I spoke to Tyler, but did he have to act so..so ashamed? I mean I get he's knew to being somewhat openly gay, but the way he was talking..  
What if he is using me as joke material?  
No, that wouldn't make sense. He made love to me.  
That's hopefully not something he would joke about, and the way I see him look at me sometimes that has to mean something, right?

Everything about him drives me insane and I can never tell if that's good or bad, but right now I just want him here. I'm not used to being without him.  
I love you, Tyler.

\--  
After walking around and randomly cleaning things in my house (I do this when I become nervous) I noticed Wildcat's car in my driveway. Did he leave it, or is that him in the driver's seat?

I go down my steps and to my front door and peek out, standing clear,hopefully, of being seen by Tyler.  
I see his head in his hands which gives me the clear to stand directly in front of the door. But I notice that his shoulders are shaking...is he crying?  
He NEVER cries.  
Well I've never seen him cry in the long years that I've known him.

The pressure in my chest causes my protective mode to kick in, no matter how much I think I shouldn't forgive him, I start to walk towards his car.

After what felt like hours I was standing next to the driver side door, my mind was still screaming for me to stop, but my arm reached out and tapped his window.  
Wildcat's head snapped towards the sound quickly, his face in complete shock.

I take this opportunity to open the door, causing my heart to sink.  
He looks so broken.  
I say no words as I pick him up, shut the door, and take him inside straight to our bed.

He cuddles to my chest before saying, "I'm so sorry, Craig."  
I start to play with his hair, "For what?"  
He sniffles and relaxes against my touch, "For being so afraid of what I am and hurting you in the process. I do love you, I truly do. I would do anything to prove that to you." He cries.  
I smile at him, "You showing up was enough to prove to me."  
Something flashes in his eye and then he sits up, then sits on top of me, swooping his head down to kiss me.

I kiss back instantly and he smiles against my lips.  
After he pulls away I mumble, "I missed this."  
He smiles, "I did too"  
"I love you, Craig."  
"I love you, Tyler."


	18. Chapter 18

Vanoss P.O.V  
Delirious and I had started I build on our relationship. We finally started doing things that normal couples do, like 'sleeping' together.  
It happened a month after he got out of hospital. The word 'fuck up' was now just a small, barely visible, line on his stomach and he was back to being the psychotic, giggling Delirious he was.  
We celebrated our relationship the way most men do, with beer. We headed to a local pub to order 2 Budweiser's and watch football. Neither of us were comfortable displaying our love publicly anymore, and definitely not in a place like this.  
We started to drink more heavily until we started proclaiming our love loud enough for God to hear."Lads, you should head home"said the bar keep, softly placing us back on the bar stools, " I'll call a cab." Then he walked into the back. What felt like an age later, we were picked up by a taxi and dropped home. "Thank, t-thank you my friend" Delirious slurred and gave the man $5.  
We got inside and Delirious tripped on his laces and face planted onto the floor. I was hysterical and walked into the kitchen to get more beer. When I walked back he was still there, laughing at himself. "Ahhh, the floors in my face..." he told himself, I laughed at him " Dude, your face is in the floor"," IT IS?" He yelled, I was dying " yeah" I said pulling him up from the floor, he still continued to laugh but I just paid attention to every detail on his face. His eyes, jawline, the scar from his cheek. What look like flaws to others are perfections to me.  
My lips landed on his as I got caught into a passionate kiss.  
Delirious P.O.V  
Vanoss started to kiss me so I kissed back. My thoughts were really foggy and I couldn't think straight but it was plain obvious he was kissing me. It started to get more intense.  
  
"Delirious, I love you" Vanoss said between kisses, but not the way he usually says it. It was more like he was announcing it, demanding that it should be known. He gripped the back of my neck causing my head to snap up as he sucked on my neck, my hands made their way to his hair and started to grip it.  
I held back moans as he sucked on my sweet spot. "Want to go to the bedroom?" He offered, I sucked in breath and nodded. We made our way to the bedroom where I pounced on him. We were lying on the bed, me on top and Vanoss on the bottom.  
I pulled off his shirt and belt before he switched positions (Vanoss on top now ) where he then freed me of my clothes. He proceeded to remove his clothing as he kissed me again. He started to lace my body with kisses until he reached my member. He placed his mouth around it and began to suck.  
It felt amazing, I couldn't hold back my moans and pleads for more. I wanted to climax but he just started and I craved more.  
I got on my knees and began to suck him. " Oh.. Jona- ah", his breaths came in short gasps. I'm glad I was pleasing him but I wanted more, a lot more." Inside me" I said between sucks, " come inside me", he nodded in response, barely able to say a word.  
I got on the bed and did as he said. "Bend over" he commanded and I obeyed like a dog. I felt him inside me "AAh", it hurt but it felt...good. He was slow and patient in the beginning but now he had quick, long thrusts causing me to grip the covers and muffle my screams with all my might. I couldn't hold any longer so I let go. Surprisingly, we came together.  
I fell down on the bed and Vanoss cuddled in beside me. I nuzzled into his neck and he put his arm around me. We slowly fell asleep in each other's arms.


	19. Chapter 19

Delirious P.O.V.

I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm...happy,  
I mumble to myself while staring in the mirror, 'I'm happy.'  
I don't know who I'm trying to convince anymore.  
Myself or the voices?  
That seems to be the constant question.

I cup my hands and fill them with water, splashing it onto my face.  
If you haven't noticed yet, Evan isn't home.  
He had to fly back home to finalize he was moving in with me, that thought makes me smile.

I haven't mentioned to Vanoss, but the voices come back more often than usual.  
Even if I'm with him, there's at least one trying to bother me.  
I stare at myself in the mirror again, 'I'm h-' I can't even finish my sentence, because a very familiar ringing shatters my thoughts.

I look around for the pills I haven't had to take in so long, my little happy pill.  
When I finally find the bottle, I clutch it in my hands and take two.

The ringing starts to subside, but the whispering doesn't.  
It  
Never  
Stops

Evan. Evan. Evan. Evan.  
Just think of Evan.  
I open the bathroom door and run downstairs looking for my phone, Evan.  
After I find it, I look through my pictures to find the one of him smiling.  
Evan.  
I finally find it, causing the voices to stop.  
All except the one that is always there.  
The one that sounds like...Wildcat.  
He's always there, he's always judging me.  
He never leaves, if I mess up, even if its the tiniest mistake, he blows it up bigger than it is.  
He makes me feel terrible, no matter what. He knows what to say to hurt me. He's the main cause of my nightmares, he's the main cause of my pain.  
No, he's not.  
If I never had such a fucked up past, Wildcat wouldn't bother me as much.

~Flashback

"Push me higher, mom!" I squealed.  
It was a peaceful day, one of the days my dad wasn't home leaving just me and my mom.  
We always went to the park on these days.

My dad started hating me after he came in and saw my neighbor and I on a playdate.  
I didn't understand what I did wrong, I was just going with my feelings.  
My mom says my dad was raised to be homophobic, but I don't know what that means.

My mom suddenly stepped out from behind the swing to answer her phone.  
I started slowing down in the process.  
Her face became a permanent frown when she answered the phone, mumbling responses I couldn't hear.  
As she hung up the phone, my swing was slowly coming to a halt.

She sighed, and ran her fingers through her hair looking at me with tears in her eyes.  
"Your father wants us home."  
My swing stopped, I immediately began sobbing, "No, mommy! Don't make me! Don't let him hurt me again!" I screamed.

She started crying, and got her things together.  
She grabbed my arm and caused me to follow her to our car.  
I tried pulling free but to no avail, "Mommy please!" I started sobbing harder.  
She wiped her arm on her sleeve, and pushed me in the car.

When she got in, I looked at her and asked, "Why do you hate me, mommy?" She stared at me, and turned to the front.  
I don't want to go home.

~Flashback over

I hate that memory.  
That was the moment I gave up on trusting anyone, I hated my mom and my dad.

Hate is a strong word, but my mom never tried to stop it and well my dad caused it.

The only person who knows about any of this is Lui, I broke down and told him. I couldn't help it I needed to tell someone. Lui was the first person to show me not everyone was as bad as I thought.  
I wish Evan were here, but I don't want him to think I'm weak. I don't want to be that boyfriend that's annoying and clingy and relies on the other for everything. I love him so much, but I can't be a burden on him like that.

I have until tomorrow to hold on until Vanoss gets home.  
I know I can do it, I have to.  
\----

It's about 3 am now and I still haven't slept.  
'I'm happy' I say I continue staring into nothing, 'I. Am. Happy.'  
I glance at the clock and see I have 20 minutes until its 4 am, Evan is supposed to get here at 6.

'He's probably not going to come back, I mean who would come home to see you' a voice, of course sounding like Wildcat, says.  
"SHUT UP!" I scream out of frustration, tears welling up in my eyes, "I'm so tired of you fucking voices. Why won't you just leave me alone!? I'm not crazy!"  
At this point I just let the tears flow, "IM NOT CRAZY!"

The next thing I knew I was running around, screaming. Its probably best I live secluded away from others or they'd call the cops.  
I stopped screaming and tried to catch my breath, but it seemed impossible. I'm guessing I wasted all of my energy because I ended up seeing black which led to me passing out from exhaustion.


	20. Chapter 20

Delirious' P.O.V.  
I wake up with my head aching terribly, but I realize I was still on the floor.  
What time is it?  
I look up at the clock above me and see its only 30 minutes before Evan is estimated to be home.  
This is great news! He will never know of my breakdown and I can clean up whatever I knocked over.  
I get off the floor and wait for my blood flow to get back to normal. I walk to the bathroom and grab two Advil's and use the cup by the sink to get water.  
I walk into the living room and see the only major thing broken was the picture of my mother.  
I grit my teeth and start cleaning up the mess. Once all the glass is gone I pick up the picture, and walk to the basement.  
I look around for my mini fireplace and light it. After the flames are where I want them, I stare at the picture.  
"You should've stopped him." I whispered, and dropped the picture into the fire.  
I stayed by the fire until the flames went out (which wasn't even a full 5 minutes) and decide to go back to the living room to play GTA.  
I noticed I had 5 new messages and checked them, 4 were from fans but there was one that was not.  
That one message was from none other then Wildcat.  
It was 3 simple words, but those 3 simple words caused an uproar to my voices.  
'Kill yourself, faggot.' Were those 3 words.  
Why does he hate me?  
What the fuck did I do?  
All the voices were screaming the message at me, I quickly turned off my Xbox and ran up the stairs to find my pills again.  
I took two more to silence the voices I wish would just leave forever.  
I check the time to see its 3 minutes until 6. I go change into my Vanoss sweatpants (custom made pair from Evan (; ) and go sit down on the couch once more.  
I stare at the wall and notice the little marks I make every time I throw my shoes towards the corner.  
I hear the door unlock and then open to reveal a very handsome looking Vanoss.  
"Jonathan!" He smiles  
"Evan!" I run up to him and hug him.  
"Haha, I missed you too." He says before kissing me on the lips, "So its completely official. We now live together!" He says trying to hide his smile.  
I do a weird happydance that comes from an inside joke causing Vanoss to laugh.  
"Hey I'm gonna go get something to eat from the kitchen and then I might take a shower. What do you want to do after that?" He asks  
"We could just record a video if you want."  
"Sounds good." He says, kissing my cheek then heading to the kitchen.  
I'm glad I have him, I wouldn't want anyone else.  
Vanoss P.O.V.  
I think the hardest decision in life is what to eat.  
We have so much food in this fridge, but I can't decide what I want.  
After I decide on a lunchable because it had oreos in it, I eat silently.  
After finishing my lunchable I throw the trash away and head upstairs for my shower.  
'Should I dress lazy or like I'm trying? Eh fuck it' I say and grab a random plaid shirt, boxers, and some jeans.  
I turn the shower water on warm and go to place my clothes on the sink, but I see some pills spilled into the sink.  
At first glance I think they're Tylenol and go to put them all in the bottle, but I notice a different word on the bottle.  
'Antidepressants'  
What the hell? Delirious didn't tell me about these.  
He had to have started taking them recently because I would have noticed before.  
Why is he taking them now? Delirious, what are you not telling me?


	21. Chapter 21

Vanoss P.O.V  
I walked down the stairs, one of the pills in my hand (a/n: they are blue pills mkay?).

I walked into the living room were Delirious was playing GTA, I was going to say a bunch of stuff but I was so grief stricken I could just get out "Delirious" while pointing to the pill. "Hm?" He said, then he saw the pill "oh ho ho,you got a blue pill eh? Well can we do it later? I'm just not in the mood right now"."Its not Viagra Delirious"I said, slightly pissed. Delirious leaned forward and squiented....then bit his lip. "Oh". "Can you atleast tell me why" I asked,"Why the fuck do you think I take them?!" He yelled having a sudden mood swing "I've been through tons of shit in my life and Vanoss I'm grateful you're here and all but just because you show up doesn't mean it's all going to go away like that" he says, snapping his fingers. "Couldn't you atleast tell me so I could help?" I say back, I sound exhausted "I love you, Delirious and I don't want you to fight this war alone". He looked at me with sad eyes, he sighed and paused the game. "We need a break" he murmured, breaking the silence "Just get away from everything, leave the country and go somewhere calm", "I'll look in to it" I say, turning away to go to the computer.

After a long time on 'Yahoo Answers' I decided to book airplane tickets to Ireland (a/n: I'm  
From Ireland so I will be able to give the 'top notch' description). I tell Delirious and we decide on going to Bray.

We pack our bags and in a few days, we head to the airport


	22. Chapter 22

Vanoss P.O.V  
We landed in Dublin airport around 3am with some serious jet lag, everyone around us seemed to be exhausted where me and Delirious were two hyper puppies ready for an adventure.

We head through customs and continue to baggage claim, waiting a while before finding our luggage. We leave the airport and call over a taxi. I had made reservations at the 'Martello', it was at the beach and our room had an nice balcony for us to use. The hotel was also connected to the restaurant so we would be able to get food really easily. I told the taxi driver where we wanted to go and set off.

It was around 4:30am when we checked in and it was like all of Bray was a ghost town. Yeah, it was 4:30 in the morning but atleast back in America the streets weren't deserted at this hour. A very well dressed man accompanies us to our room, giving us each a key. After he leaves we throw our bags onto the bed and head out.  
Outside the moon was still up and shining bright, all the lights in the sky (a/n Area 11 reference :-3) helped to provide a romantic atmosphere as Delirious and I walked along the beach.  
We had almost walked most of the beach when we started heading up a hill that had picnic benches and a large field of grass. "Care to sit and watch the stars?" I ask, taking his hand and leading him towards the grass. "Why," he says giggling "I'd love to".

We sit down underneath a tree and watch the darkness filled with tiny lights somehow get darker and darker. Delirious lays his head on my shoulder. I wrap my arm around his shoulders, pulling him closer to me. His arm goes around my waist and I place my head gently on top of his. Bliss.

"Delirious" I say. "Yeah?" He replies.  
"You know I love you, right? I want you to know that I'm not just saying that, I mean it. Every being in my body lives just because you are here with me. You are the most important person in my life and I'll be damned if some random shit will try and take you away from me. Wildcat, self harm, depression. Fuck all that, I'm right here Delirious and I will always be here. You are never alone while I'm alive on this planet, okay? I will always try and be of service to you and even if you think whatever is wrong is nothing, whether it is you can't open the bag of chips or you feel like death is the only way of relief. Always come to me,I want to help you, to make you happy because I think that is all I strive for, your happiness. When you giggle, laugh, smile, it makes me feel like I'm walking on rainbows. I will always be here to help you Delirious, because I love you...so much".  
I hear him release a shaky breath "Vanoss, you don't know how lucky I feel now just because I have you. And it hurts me that I can't express how much l love you. I feel like you could do better and I'm so happy you haven't left me yet. When I fuck up and you get mad or upset I feel like I should be punished, because you are like my gift from the gods and I'm screwing up my only chances and I'm so scared that one day you are just going to get up and g-", "Shut it" I tell him "why would I leave you, eh? Where am I going to get someone so funny, so caring and so beautiful as you? Nowhere, because there is only one you, and I want you, Jonathan. No one else, so get that idea out of your pretty little head, yeah? It's pretty cold out here so we'll watch the starts for a little longer and go back to the hotel".

We sit and stare at the sky for what seems a beautiful eternity. Then Delirious' phone goes off, a text message. I look over to see who it's from.

It's from Wildcat.


	23. Chapter 23

Delirious P.O.V  
"Put it down." Vanoss whispered behind me, "I don't want him ruining this". Reluctantly, I put the phone back in my pocket and for the rest of the night, I just couldn't focus. The voices in my head started up but were quickly diminished to a whisper as my phone lit up again, it was still Wildcat.  
"Give me the phone." Vanoss ordered, holding out his hand. I waited and stared at his hand, pulling a scowl before I reluctantly handed the phone to him. He smiled, "Curiosity killed the cat, you know." he stated.  
'Yeh, but satisfaction brought it back' I said in my head.  
(A/N: the full saying is 'curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back'. I saw that on tumblr :-D )  
Vanoss started to get a bit drowsy so we walked back to the hotel.  
I sat on my bed and watched him as he got changed into his pajamas, I was trying so hard to turn my attention away from the voices but I couldn't. They whispered into my ear:  
He will never love you....  
Wildcat speaks the truth....  
Why do you still live....  
The text message....  
Read....  
Read....  
Read....

I took off my mask and hoodie but kept on my shirt and sweats. Evan kissed me on my nose and said 'Goodnight' before getting into bed. I watched him intently, waiting for a sign that he was asleep. After what felt like years, I heard a soft snore and I quickly started to search his clothes for my phone. I felt to floor vibrate and a soft light emitted from vanoss' jacket pocket. I crawled up to it and took out my phone, it read:  
Son-Of-A-Bitch / 36 messages  
Son-Of-A-Bitch / 4 missed calls  
(3) Emails / TylerCat@gmail.com  
"What do you want?" I spat through gritted teeth.  
"READ" The voices screamed, scaring me into throwing my phone across the room. Vanoss stirred but went back to sleep. I crept up to my now slightly cracked phone and shoved it into my pocket. I put on some trainers and my hoodie and went outside.

It was still very dark out and the wind was like splinters. I walked onto the beach and stood next to the sea. I took my phone out of my pocket and opened it. I looked at the 'Message' app as my vision blurred. I let a few tears run down my face before rubbing my eyes. I opened the 'Message' app and started to read.

Vanoss P.O.V  
"DELIRIOUS NO" I shouted at him "DELIRIOUS!" I was on the verge of crying. He turned around and looked at me, phone in hand. I tackled him into a hug " It doesn't matter what those texts say, okay? I love you and he is nothing, alright? What did he say, eh? Are you okay? You didn't cut did you?" I was so scared for his welfare.  
"Evan" he spoke  
"What?"  
"The texts"  
" they don't matter delirious!"  
" no, they do-"  
"NO. THEY. DONT" I shouted, snatching the phone out of his hand "it's about time wildcat got a piece of my mind".  
I called his number and he picked up right away. "Delirious thank god" he breathed, it sounded like he was crying.  
"It's Evan retard, and it's about time you left delirious alone"  
"No! Evan please! Let me talk to Delirious"  
"Fuck no, why should I?" I looked at Delirious, he looked like he was zoned out but he still looked worried.  
"It's mini, he's hurt-"  
"SO WHAT IF MINIS HURT? What about delirious? Look what you did to him with a-", I was cut off by a grunt and wild cat banging on a....door?  
"Mini!! Please!", he was crying " let me finish" and now he was pissed off "Mini is hurt....ing....himself".


	24. Chapter 24

Vanoss P.O.V  
"W-What?" I stuttered.  
No not Mini, why would he do this?  
"He's in the bathroom and he won't stop" Wildcat bawled, I just about made out his sentence.

What the fuck turned Mini to self harm? I looked at Delirious,'you turned because you thought you were worthless and you had depression' I thought, Mini wasn't like that. Something must of happened, something really bad. As much as I hate Wildcat , and believe me I do, I had to help my friend.  
"We are coming to see him".  
"You are?" Wildcat asked, suddenly overjoyed.  
"Yeah but believe me when I say, if you say one thing or do anything to Delirious. I will personally run a blade over your wrist".  
"Don't worry, you have my word but just please help Mini, I love him".  
Then in the background: "No you don't! You love Marcel!".  
~A few Hours earlier~

Mini's P.O.V  
I texted Wildcat again asking if he wanted to hang out. He's been avoiding me and constantly ditching me to do things with Marcel,  
"I promised Marcel I would record with him"  
"I said I would game with Marcel tonight"  
"I need to talk to Marcel"

I'm getting worried but it was nothing.....right? He loved me, didn't he? He said so, he wouldn't lie about that. But if he didn't.....it would explain why he didn't tell Vanoss we are dating. I was probably just overthinking this.

Hopefully.

I decide to go onto twitter and browse the world wide trends when I saw Marcel tweet Tyler. ' going to have some fun in the lurve shack with @Wildcat ;-)'. I gulped, he's not cheating, he can't be cheating, he wouldn't cheat.... Would he?  
Wildcat P.O.V  
I went through my routine making sure all my recording equipment was working fine when my phone pinged. Marcel had tweeted me on twitter ' going to have some fun in the lurve shack with @Wildcat ;-)'. Hah, only Marcel. I tweeted back 'Imma rock your world @BasicallyIDoWrk ;-)'. Then he replied 'But don't tell Mini ;-) shhhh'.

With Mini on my mind I looked out my window over to his house (a/n I know they live in different countries but go with the flow). He was in his office looking down, probably on his phone.....  
But then he put his hand to his mouth.  
He's crying!!!  
He's looking over here.  
He's shaking his head.  
He's walking away.....

"Oh god, Mini!" I say, scrambling out of my office chair, grabbing my keys and going out the front door.

I run over to his house and knock in the door. No answer. I pull up the mat and grab the spare key and let myself in. "Craig?" I call out "Babe, where are you?".  
How come I always fuck up my relationships?  
Why can't I be the good guy for once?  
I check upstairs and downstairs but he isn't here!

Then I hear a grunt.  
I turn around to a door I hadn't opened, the bathroom door. I walk over to it and knock softly. "Mini?", I hear another whimper of pain," Honey, what are you doing?".  
"Every time you talk I cut another line across my wrist".

And I just stood there.  
What do I do?  
I can't talk he'll hurt himself, I go to turn the door handle slightly, "Don't you even try" he says. I'm finding it hard to keep back my sobs.  
Is this what it was like for Vanoss with Delirous?  
Delirious! He'll know what to do!

I find his number and text him. I text him about 40 times, call him 4 times and even email him. He finally calls me. "Delirious" I say, forgetting what Craig had just said about me talking. "It's Evan you retard and it's about time you left Delirious alone" Evans practically spits at me, "No! Evan, please! Let me talk to Delirious". "Fuck no, why should I?" He asks, this next bit took some courage on my behalf since I knew Mini was probably listening, "It's Mini, he's hurt-", "SO WHAT IF MINI IS HURT!?" Evan exploded "What about Delirious? Look what you did to him with a-". Mini grunted again, I banged on the door. "Mini, please!!" I begged "Let me finish," I said through gritted teeth "Mini is hurt-"  
I could barely get this out, it was unreal "ing....himself".

~after the conversation about Vanoss and Delirous coming over ~

"Mini," no reply.  
"Please come out,"  
Silence  
"Please,"  
...  
"I love you."


	25. Chapter 25

Delirious P.O.V  
Vanoss and I take a last minute flight to America. The flight wasn't pleasant, mainly because kids were kicking down my chair and since I wasn't seated next to Evan, I got to sit next to a quite large man, fantastic.

The everlasting, tortuous and simply lonesome journey finally came to an end. I couldn't see Evan when we landed so I proceeded through customs and baggage claim without him. I was pretty self-conscious about it because I was wearing my mask so I was gaining some weird looking stares. Then someone looped their arm in mine, "Hiya Cutie" Vanoss said, then rubbing his nose on the nostril section of my mask. I cuddled close to him and left the airport.

I texted Tyler asking for the address, he replied a minute later with the address. Vanoss hailed down a taxi an we headed off to wildcat and mini.

~1 Taxi Drive Later~

We got out of the taxi and carried our luggage to the door. Evan made a single bang on the door. Behind it I could hear a shuffling of feet as they went down the stair, then the door opened and......Holy Jesus, Tyler.  
His eyes looked hollow, his skin was a glistening pale, probably wet from tears. He looked at me and looked happier than a person that won the lottery. "Oh my god thank you, please help him" Tyler said in one breath, dragging me up the stairs to a door, presumably the one Mini was behind. Vanoss stood behind me, "Talk to Tyler" I tell him "he probably did this". "I DID NOT" Tyler storms, "Hmmm..." Mini hums behind the door, the sort of him that sounds like he is disagreeing with Tyler. "You two, get going" I demanded. They walked out the house,  
"Mini, they're gone",  
"You really only needed to get rid of Tyler" he replies.

The door unlocks and opens. Mini is really pale, worse that WildCat, his hands are streaked with red and his shirt has red stains on it. Mini looks confused at my unchanged expression, "I've done worse" I tell him "but I'm not important". "yeah you are" Mini sighs "do you not see the way vanoss looks at you? He loves you, obviously. I wish Tyler would look at my like that", his expression hardens "I bet he looks at Marcel like that". Marcel? What about Marcel? "What's up with Marcel?" I inquire. "Look at this shit" he hands me his phone. I read the tweets Marcel wrote to Tyler, "mind if I take a picture?", "I don't care, the entire fandom probably has". I took pictures of the tweets and sent them to Vanoss.

(Guys this chapter is getting SUPA long so I'm going to try cut it down a bit :-(. )

Vanoss P.O.V

While me and Tyler were walking, I was able to get him to admit he had been ditching Mini a lot and was spending a bit too much time with Marcel.  
I received a text from Delirious, it was a picture of Marcel tweeting Wildcat. "What the actual fuck?" I said aloud, "What?" Tyler questioned. I showed him the phone and he bit his lip. "You avoid him, ditch him and then publicly flirt with another man when he is literally across the road from you?", "ermmm....." He sighed "shit, I always fuck these things up". "Yeah you do" I informed, he gave me an odd look "aren't you make to make me feel better?"," I don't want to, so I'm not going to", I know I'm being mean but after what he did with Delirious and now Mini, he deserves it.

"What do I do?".


	26. Chapter 26

Vanoss P.O.V  
"What the fuck do you think you should do?" I shouted at him, he said he loves Mini but he sure doesn't show it. "Apologize?" He guessed. "YEAH! " I said in a thats-fucking-obvious tone "and then some. Buy chocolate, flowers. Tell him that you love him and it better sound more convincing than what you said before".

Tyler P.O.V

I stared at Evan. "You spend half of your time harassing Delirious and now you spend the other half with Marcel". As much as I hated the facts, they were true. I had stop spending time with Craig but people liked the videos me and Marcel made together more than the ones me and Mini made. "Well how do I fit him into my schedule, huh? People want videos of me and Marcel-".  
"Make videos with Mini".  
"Don't you think I would've done that if that's what people wanted?".  
"You do know most of our fan bases ship us all together? H20Vanoss. DaithiDeCalibre. Minicat. They flipped when me and Delirious came out and they'll probably do the same for you and Mini. They'll also demand videos of you two together. That's how you fit him into your schedule."  
"WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME THAT BEFORE??"  
"WELL JESUS TYLER. IF I CAN THINK OF IT, ITS NOT THAT HARD TO THINK IT UP FOR YOURSELF!!" He breathed "let's got back so you can apologize".

While we were walking back I giggled. "What's so funny?" Evan asked, "You practically called yourself stupid back there" I told him. Then he stared at me with a pissed off look on his face....but then he tried to hold back a smile. He failed and started chuckling, "shut up and let's get back to the house."

Mini P.O.V

Delirious was rubbing my back as I cried into his shoulder, "Why doesn't he love me the way I love him? Am I not enough for him?" I cried. "No, you're so much better than him. You're funny, cute and really fun to hang out with" he reassured me. It was so nice to have Delirious around, he knew just what to say and when to say it. "Thank you Delirious" I whisper, feeling kind of childish for saying so. "No problem Mini" he smiles, pulling me into a hug.

A delirious hug is a really good hug, he holds you tight but not so much that it's even the littlest bit uncomfortable. He is radiating heat so it's nice and warm and his arms are positioned so that your entire body seems to be supported. This was the best hug I have ever had. I was hoping it never ended. But then they came home.

"We're back!" Vanoss called. One of them stormed up the the stairs. Then wildcat burst through the door. "Honey I'm so sorry!" He said to, dropping to his knee and cuddling me around the waist "I love you so much and I can't believe I just stopped hanging out with you the way I did, will you forgive me?".

I thought about it. Every thing he did. The gay fags, leaving me for Marcel and just plain out avoiding me.

I knew my answer.


	27. Chapter 27

Tyler's P.O.V

Million years  
Forgive you  
Physically dragged  
Hell  
Worthless  
Useless  
Shit  
It's all I could hear  
Worthless  
Useless  
Shit

~flashback~  
"Tyler" mini whispered "you've done a lot of shit that has physically dragged me through the depths of hell when it comes to my emotions. You've made me feel lower than the lowest point in the ocean. I've felt like shit, useless and worthless. I don't think that even in one-million years, I could ever forgive you".

~end of flashback~

I rolled over in my bed and curled up into a ball. The sheets were damp from my tears and I felt like crumpled up cardboard. My sobs were uncontrollable, my shoulders shuddered constantly and I was finding it hard to maintain my cries.

My brain alerted me of an action I had done before I left Minis house. I had taken the blade he had used to self harm and I had put it in my coat pocket. The coat of which just happened to be.............conveniently........next to my...........bed.

If he did it,

Why can't I?

Vanoss P.O.V

Delirious and I had gotten a flight back home. Jonathan was pretty miserable after the events of Tyler and Craig, they were a good couple in all, even if Tyler was a basket-case most of the time.

I was driving home and I looked over at Delirious. His mask wasn't on and he had his arm against the car window with his head in the elbow crook. Neither of us had talked to each other since Tyler and Craig, mainly because we blamed our selves. I could of been a help to wildcat but instead I let the grudge I have on him get in the way and I shouted at him. Delirious thinks he could of told Mini that Tyler is a fucktard most of the time but in the end he still loves him. I looked back at the road and made the journey home.

We pulled up into the drive way and Delirious got out, "I'm going to make a sandwich" he told me before unlocking the door and walking inside. I leaned back into the seat and breathed out. I felt guilty about not helping wildcat out when he needed, so I decided to get out my phone and call him. I got about 3 rings before he answered. "Mini?" He asked enthusiastically, 'shit' I thought, "Erm, no. It's *sigh* it's Evan"I said nervously. "Oh, er. Hey"


	28. Chapter 28

Tyler P.O.V

"Oh, er. Hey" I said into the phone. Why would mini call me anyway, after everything that has happened between us.

I miss him.

" Tyler" Evan said, capturing my attention again, "I'm sorry about you and Craig, that wasn't.... fair". 'At least he is trying' I thought. "The way I acted towards you that day as well was way out of line and I should of treated you better. So if you ever find yourself in Florida, stop in and come say hi, you're welcome here anytime."

.....

......

....

.....

....

"Thank you Evan."

"If the break up is hard-"

"It is "

" Oh,well since the break up is hard, talk to Delirious. He would be happy you asked him and he would know how to help "

Tyler stop being a bitch for a moment and actually let someone help you.

"I'll call him"

"And if you feel awkward talking to him..."

Evan continued to babble on about things when I realized why he was acting this way. A guy who's boyfriend I terrorised for nearly a year wouldn't forgive me in the blink of an eye, no....

"Evan "

"Hm?" He says, snapped out of his little rant

"This isn't your fault"

Another pause

"But-"

"The only but I want to see is yours when I am walking into your home next week,okay?"

"Hah, yeah. That's okay"

"Now as much as I want to keep talking to you, I have a certain phone call to make to a certain Delirious" I told him with a smile.

"See ya, Wildcat"

"See you soon, Evan"

Flashback (PewdsCryaoticKen writing)

Vanoss' P.O.V.

It was another normal day but to me today was special. Today was a day I get to just talk to Delirious instead of recording anything.

I quickly hop out of bed and change into sweatpants and my favorite H2ODelirious shirt. I look in the mirror and smile at the sight of my shirt, 'I wish I could just see his face. I bet he's beautiful.' I think to myself, I would never admit that though, although he needs someone to tell him everyday.

I text Delirious and ask him if he's ready for our free day and he texts back immediately confirming that he's ready.

I turn on my Xbox and stay on the dashboard until Delirious invites me to a party. I smile and accept.  
"HEY DELIRIOUS!" I yell into the mic, causing him to laugh at my burst.  
"Hi there, Evan!"  
"So what do you want to do?" I ask  
"Huh I dunno, wait hold on I got a message."  
I sip some mountain dew while I wait for Delirious to talk again.  
"Okay, I'm back." I hear Delirious whisper, causing me to worry.  
"Hey dude, what's wrong?"  
"Nothing, just another message that got to me a bit." (A/N its a message from Wildcat again.. -sadface-)  
"Aw, no. What did it say, Jonathan?" I say his real name so he knows I'm serious.  
"Just making fun of my laugh and how I'm probably hideous that's why I never show my face." He rushes out.  
I stare at my Tv in disbelief, how could some say that to him? He's perfect no matter what.  
I decide to let my gay side show for once, because we all know I love him and would show my real self to the world so he would be happy.  
"Jonathan?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Whoever they are, they are obviously not worth your time. You're amazing the way you are and I don't care what you look like, you're still beautiful. I love you." I mentally curse at myself for calling him beautiful and pretty much throwing my true feelings out there, but I know he'll take them as if it were normal conversation.  
"I love you too, man. I really needed that, thank you." He replies in a normal voice.  
"No problem."

End of Flasback


	29. Chapter 29

Delirious P.O.V

I sat down on my bed and leaned back. I started to go through my memories, remembering everything onwards from when Evan came to live with me, thinking about what the impact of everything had done to change my life.

Firstly, Evan came over to stay with me after Tyler had told me 'everyone was planning against me'. I'm glad he did, I probably would've over thought it. Then the voices would've kicked in and then...I don't want to think about that

Secondly, Evan found out about the voices. He should've thought I was a freak and left before I even knew, but he stayed, he stayed and he held me when he brought me to bed. That was also the time I kissed him and he told that....he loves me *blushies*

But then Evan joked about him being gay. He was joking of course but why did he feel the need to? It's wasn't like he was wearing lipstick and when we kissed I smudged it so he needed an excuse when Tyler saw. I'll never know why Vanoss said that but hope it was all a joke.

After that, Mini and Tyler had their first fight, I think it was their first anyway. That's what Mini told me. Tyler tried to come out to me because he knows I am gay but when Evan opened the door and said what he said, he got scared and left it. That's one thing me and Tyler can relate on, we both got scared of what Evan had said but that's in the past.

Oh Jesus, the fair. I think I'll remember the fair until the day I die. That girl, being publicly gay, twitter. Vanoss shouted at me that day. I thought Vanoss had left me that day so I made the 'Fuck up'. I lifted up my shirt so I could see the faint lines that has been left from the damage of the cut. Back to remembering that day, when Evan came home and he saw the cut, he blacked out and I called an ambulance. They took him away and I bled out BECAUSE IM TOO FUCKING STU-

I was taken out of my fit of rage to hear my phone ringing. I look at my phone, wildcat was calling.

"Hello?" I say. "Hiya Delirious" Wildcat replies. "Oh, hi Tyler, what's up?" I ask. "Er, well it's not unknown to you that I just had a break up and I was wondering if I could talk to you about it.".  
"Yeah, sure! Where do you want to start?".

I spent the rest of the day helping Tyler through his break up and to be honest, I don't feel like a bad person anymore.

~3 Days Later~

Vanoss P.O.V  
I was walking around the shopping center (or mall as they call it in America) picking up different things on my way when I walked into Hallmarks (Cardshop) it was Delirious and I's 1 year anniversary and I know this is a clichè but...

I'm going to propose to him.


	30. Chapter 30

Delirious P.O.V

I woke up to a pair of lips on mine.

"Good morning beautiful" Vanoss said, dragging out the 'o' in morning.

"Good morning handsome" I replied, copying his goofy speech.

" today is a very,very,very special day. We are going to go for a walk-"

"Ugh" I interrupted.

Vanoss gave me a ' really' face.

"We are going for a picnic"

" Ugh"

"Going to get some awesome new video games"

" Ugh"

".....and get drunk"

"Oooo, I like that one" I giggle with my psychotic laugh.

"I knew you would" vanoss smiled, waking out of the bed room and into the hallway, " let's hope this time the floor doesn't get in your face".

I got dressed into my famous pair jeans and blue hoodie and vanoss got into his red jacket with black jeans. I played GTA for a bit while vanoss made the picnic. We both climbed into the car and started to drive to a ' mysterious location'. We had a bit of bantaaa on the way there.

" Sooo, what's the mysterious location?" I asked

" that's the thing though" vanoss retorted " it's mysterious"

" come oooonn " I pleaded like a child " at least give me a hint"

" nope " he laughed while reaching across for the glove box and taking out a CD " but put this on"

I slid the CD into the CD port and glee's version of 'I Think I Wanna Marry You ' came on.

" oh my God" I breathed with my hand over my mouth, "I LOVE THIS SONG".

For the next hour vanoss and I danced to glee until we finally arrive at the ' mysterious location' . It was a cliff above the seaside. Vanoss got out of the car and came over to my door,he opened it and helped me out. We both went to the back of the car to get the picnic basket. Vanoss had packed a massive amount of food plus, a blanket. Vanoss took the picnic basket and I took the blanket.

We took our seat under the shade of a large tree. I opened the picnic basket and it was stocked full: sandwiches , crisps/ chips, some fruits, biscuits and a mini sponge cake.

" Dude you went all out!" I exclaimed.  
" hey " vanoss breathed gently, cupping my chin on his index finger and lifting up my head to face him, " anything for you" he said in a husky voice, then pecking me on the lips.

My face went from this ---> 0.0

To this ---> 0v0

I lurve him <3

Vanoss P.O.V

Delirious and I tucked in to our little feast.

After we finished we lay down on the blanket for a while.

" oh my God,I ate so much I could explode" he commented.

"That's a nice mental image" I laughed, "and we still have to go on a walk" .

Delirious looked at me and then the car then back at me then back to the car then back to me then back to the car then back to me.

"We could walk to the car, that counts as a walk." He told me.

"Sure dude,whatever you say".

After ten more minutes of relaxing we got up and packed our things away, got into the car and drove to the closest Gamestop we could find. When we got there we looked through the many games they had on sale. I picked up God Of War and Delirious got Red Dead Redemption, then we both cane together and got Final Fantasy XIII- 2.

Then it was the time.

I got down on one knee...

Held Delirious' hand...

"Jonathan..."

"Will you buy me a pokemon plushie?"

"Oh my Fucking God, dude just ask like a normal person next time" Delirious said, laughing his ass off.

Maybe next time Delirious...

Maybe next time.


	31. Chapter 31

Delirious P.O.V

" IM GONNA BEAT YOUR ASS EVAN!" I shouted at the tv screen. Evan and I were racing each other in Red Dead Redemption.  
" but I love it when you beat my ass" he replied.  
" Oh My God " I laughed, sounding like a dying hyena with a bit of wheezing.  
Vanoss was trying really hard to hold back a smile but it wasn't working out for him.

"Hey, dude" Evan said.  
I tried to reply but I was laughing too hard.  
" Dude" he said a bit louder,but I still couldn't reply.  
Evan grabbed me by my shoulders and playfully shook me, " GET YO SHIT TOGETHER, BRO".  
I managed to calm myself down so Evan was able to talk to me.  
"I was wondering if you wanted to go out for dinner tonight " Evan asked  
"Sure, do you have a place we should go to?"  
" Yep, this place called Phillips (is that a real place? Idk). It's err, 3 now. Want to go out at 6?".  
"Sounds good" I reply and we went back to playing video games.

~Time skip~

Evan P.O.V

Delirious and I arrived at Philips around six. We walked in and we were escorted to our seats.

The room had a calming atmosphere with jazz playing. The main colour scheme was cream and red which I guess is also meant to add a calmness to the room. Our table had a cream cloth with a red strip going through the middle and a lit candle with rose petals surrounding it. It was perfect.

We sit down and we are given menus. For food, I pick a streak with vegetables, mashed potatoes and gravy and Delirious picks a cheeseburger with chips.

After the waiter leaves, " dude, really? A cheeseburger".  
"I eat cheeseburgers any where, at any time. Now excuse me, I'm going to the bathroom" he says in a push voice as he excuses his self from the table.  
When I make sure he is out of sight, I reach in to the pocket inside of my tuxedo and take out the ring. It looks beautiful in this light. I was legitimately going to do this in Gamestop but what if we told our kids that we got engaged in a video game store. It wouldn't be the best story.

I put the ring back in my pocket as Delirious returns. We talk about things like YouTube and how everyone week react when we confirm we are dating. The thing that happened at the carnival has calmed down a lot now and really the only person who talks about it is @Slimshady_xx . (Das me-PewdsCryaoticKen)

Our food arrives and we dig in. After we finished it we got desert. I got a hot fudge cake and Delirious got an ice cream sundae. When we finished that we waited for the waiters to take our plates and give us the check.

After they cleared the table I started on the speech I had been rehearsing in my head the entire night.  
" Jonathan" I said, holding his hands " I love you so much and I can't believe that every day I get to wake up and see your face. The Times we have together are always amazing and the reason they are is because you're there. I know you say you're not right in the head our that you're a weird freak but you're not! I love you because the way you are and if you ready believe that you are this weird freak, then I would happily spend the rest of my life with this weird fre-" .

My phone went off and I saw it was my mom. Letting out a sigh I answered.

Delirious P.O.V  
Oh my God  
Oh my holy freaking God.  
He loves me.  
I always kinda thought he did but this feeling I have in my stomach now.  
I think I'm flying.

I look at Evan and he looks, uncomfortable?  
He hangs up the phone and looks at me. Tears in his eyes.  
" Dude what's wrong?!" I ask, concerned.  
"I have to go back to Canada for a week.  
My grandad died".


	32. Chapter 32

Vanoss P.O.V

Jonathan helped me pack my bags as I got ready to leave for Canada. My granddad had got trampled by a moose ( my friend told me to put that in... Sorry) and died instantly. I still can't believe he's gone, I'll miss him.

Delirious is going to stay in America though, which is sad since I would've liked him to come with me. He said he would've felt awkward around my family and I understand of course but I still would've liked it if he accompanied me.

"Come on dude, you'll miss your flight of you take any longer" Delirious called from downstairs. I jogged down the stairs and grabbed the coffee Delirious had made for me from the kitchen table. I left his house and joined him in the car as we set off to the airport.

As I arrive at the airport, I get out of the car and open the boot to retrieve my suitcase. I walk around to the drivers foot were I give delirious a 'man' hug and a kiss on the cheek. As I walk away, Delirious shouts at me, " DUDE! DONT GET TRAMPLED BY ANY MICE, MKAY? ". Everyone looked at Delirious who , at the moment, was waving like a psycho. " How would I get run over by a mouse?" I shouted back. " I didn't say you would get run over by a mouse" he called back, confused. I was confused as well by now, I just shook my head and walked away. I realized later when I was on the plane, when Delirious said 'mice', he was talking about the plural of moose.

Oh my god.

~ Sexy ass time skip to after the funeral~

Everyone had red puffy eyes going home, even I did. My mom was holding up but you could tell that even saying my grandads would set her off. I was going home in 2 days so at least I'll see Delirious soon.

We got home and had dinner, which consisted of: bacon, beans, mashed potatoes with steak and gravy. My family had gone all out for my return home and the funeral. After the meal I felt pretty tired so I went to bed.

I texted Delirious 'Good morning xx' but he probably and won't reply for a few hours since he sleeps in for ages when I'm not around. For the next 2 days I went round a found lots of nostalgia in Canada. The school I went to, the shop my mother bought our food, the pub I first got wasted at. Then I also bought things like clothes and games and a few souvenirs for Delirious.  
Soon enough it was time to go back to America.

~another sexy ass time skip~

When I landed in America, I received a text from Delirious saying it was going to take him at least an hour to come and get me so I might as well take a cab. I hailed a cab over and got in. I told him my address and we were off.

I was dropped off in front of the house and the cab driver drove off. The house looked weird though, it was 5pm and the blinds were shut. Surely Jonathan was awake by now. Of course he was we texted me an hour ago.

I approached the door and let myself in. I walked in and closed the door, surrounded in pitch black. I heard a metallic click and saw Delirious light two candles next to him. They were both covered with rose petals.

Jonathan was in a suit.

"You were taking too long so I'm just going to get to it" he said.

'mother fucker' I thought with a grin, 'you beat me to it'.

" Evan" he said, getting down on one knee and taking out the ring I had bought.

.

.

.

.

"Will you marry me?"

.

.

.

" Yes".


	33. Chapter 33

Vanoss P.O.V

It's been a while since Delirious and I got engaged so we're being a bit calm with each other now, no more outrageous outings or 'activities' unless we really want to.

Unfortunately, Delirious has been a bit depressed recently. He used to be really bubbly in the morning but now I just find him slumped in the couch watching football all day and that is really weird for Delirious. He never watches football. I decided to give him a homely cheer-up since I know he would be uncomfortable if I took him into the place called the 'outside'.

I prepared so that tomorrow I would wake up really early and make him: pancakes, bacon and a cheeseburger for breakfast. Then have the entire living room cleaned and set up a basket filled with his favourite foods and popcorn with soda. When he gets out of bed we'll both be slumped on the coach watching tons of movies on Netflix. ALL DAY!

I hope this makes him happy, his smile gives me a reason to live.

~Next Day~

Delirious P.O.V  
I woke up to the sound of pots and pans hitting off of each other at 5AM, I also noticed Evan wasn't next to me.  
'what the fuck' I thought, getting out of bed.

I walked down the stairs and looked through the doorway into the kitchen. As I peered I saw a stressed Vanoss trying to cook at least 3 things at once.  
"Ahh!" He whined as he scolded himself on the pan. He started to suck on his thumb, it was so adorable.

I continued watching as he tried to prepare the meal, constantly cussing and flinching whenever he burned himself. Then and he glanced at the clock.  
"5:48" Evan told himself, "the shop might be open now".  
I realised I was in the way of the front door, so to stay hidden I quietly ran up the stairs, sitting at the top like a child, and watching as Vanoss left.

I crept back down the stairs and looked through the window next to the door to make sure Evan was gone. He was. I then walked into the kitchen and was greeted with lots of glorious scents. There was something that smelled like Vanoss, something that smelled juicy and...A CHEESEBURGER!!! I ran over to the table and was about to eat it when I suspected that this was made for me but for later. That's such torture. I smelled the air again, taking it the scents of cheeseburger. I matched the juicy smell to the bacon and the 'Vanoss' smell to the pancakes. Confused, I looked at them and figured out why they smelled like Vanoss.  
"ohh" I said aloud, "they have maple syrup on them".

I heard a click come from the hallway. I looked over and saw the front door open and Vanoss walk in holding a basket of heavenly the treats. As he took the keys out of the door he noticed me and he is smile faltered slightly.  
"why is it today, out of all days, you wake up early" he asked sarcastically.  
"well it seems my boyfriend learned to play the pots and pans"  
"Oh" he smiled, scratching the back of his neck, "sorry about that".

[I'm going to speed this up cuz' i have an idea]

I helped Vanoss with the basket as he put it in the Living room. I then tucked into my wonderful Breakfast of unhealthyness and made my way into the living room where in snuggled up beside Vanoss. He picked Black Butler since it has just been added (it literally has! Go check it out) (not sponsored by Netflix) and I have been waiting to watch it.

Many hours later, at the end of episode 24 of season 1, Vanoss and I were in a state of tears. I wasn't feeling very good either, probably because of the sweets.

"I'll be right back" I told Vanoss, walking out.

As I walked up the stairs, I felt it all come up. So I threw up on the stairs but I slipped and hit my head off of the stairs, followed by me falling down the stairs.

My body started to feel weird.

My limbs started jerking about on their own.

And then everything went black. (deja vu anyone? -PewdsCryaoticKen)

Vanoss P.O.V

I ran to Delirious and picked him up immediately. when I felt his body shaking I took him straight to my car and drove him to the hospital. I knew something hadn't been right with him and it definitely wasn't the candy.

When we arrived at the hospital, I picked him up bridal style and ran into the reception room. There was vomit dried to his lips and he was still jerking about. The woman behind the reception desk took one look at us and summoned more doctors who took him away from me. I hope they give him back.

~few hours later~

A while later I was called by a doctor. He tried to give me the details on delirious' condition but the moment I heard where he was I took off in a sprint. I found his room at the end of a hallway. I tore back the door and ran to his side. Grabbing his hand I said "Oh thank the Lord your okay Delirious". Then he turned and looked at me weakly.

"who are you..?"

That's when the doctor came in and sighed,  
" He has amnesia"

MiniLadd's P.O.V. 

Well, today I have to go over to Wildcat's house to pick up the remainder of my things I left. I'd be lying if I said I was excited to see him. I miss him, but he's probably already moved on, I honestly wouldn't doubt it. I guess I'm just not ready to see him happy with someone else.

I pull into Tyler's driveway and walk up to the door. I pull out the key he gave me, which I plan on leaving here, unlock it and open the door. I peek my head inside and see the house is dark and looks the same as it did when I last visited.

'Maybe he left to be with someone else.' I cringe at the thought and walk inside making sure to shut the door behind me.  
All of my stuff is in our old room.  
Our room.  
I feel a pain in my chest and hurry up the stairs. I just want to get this over with.  
When I opened the door to his bedroom I see a lump on the bed, showing that someone is curled up under the covers.  
My face contorts into confusion and I step closer, its him.

"Baby?" I whisper, which I silently curse myself for.  
Tyler's body stiffens, and rolls over to face me. I notice he's in one of my hoodies and his face looks like he's been crying for days straight.  
He looks up at me and hold his arms out with hope on his face, and I ignore every thought that tells me to leave. I crawl into his arms and bury my face into his neck.  
I breathe in his scent and I feel tears fall down my face. Tyler lifts my chin to look up at him and I see fresh tears falling down his face as well, "I will fix this, Craig, I promise. I can't lose you again." He says before kissing my forehead and pulling me back into his chest.

I feel complete.


	34. Chapter 34

Evan's P.O.V.

"No. No you remember me" I stuttered as I looked at my fiancé.  
"I'm sorry, I've never met you before".  
I shook my head in disbelief as he looked at me as if I was a freak. The love of my life has No idea who I am, the man who I want to grow old with and maybe even adopt kids with.  
I turned to the doctor "is it temporary o-or can it be fixed" I asked.  
The doctor shook his head "i hate to be blunt but, his head is busted. Anything you want him to remember you're going to have to teach him yourself. You're probably going to want to take him home so you can discharge him at any time".  
I slumped into the chair beside Delirous' bed and looked at him. He was lining his selfharm scars with his finger.  
He looked at me and asked "how did I get these?". I smiled at him. Finally, some good news.

On the way home Delirious stayed quiet.

I turned on glee and started to hum the tune, hoping he would remember the time we went for a picnic together.  
I decided to try talking to him. " do you know this song" I asked, putting on 'I Think I Want To Marry You'.  
I watched him as the song played. His eyebrows furrowed as he opened his mouth and nodded his head to the tune. "I....I know it but I don't". I nodded in understanding.  
"you know" I began, reaching for his hand, "you I sang this song together a while before I gave you this" I told him, pointing to the ring on his finger.  
"A ring?" He questioned.  
I sighed, "no, not just a ring. A wedding ring".  
We went home in silence.

We got home around 6pm. The smell of vomit lingered slightly and all the candy was still on the couch.  
As I walked to the kitchen, Delirious tapped my shoulder.  
"hmm?" I said.  
"erm...what's your name?" he asked.  
" Oh" I facepalmed " it's Evan. Do you know your name?" I asked.  
"Yeah. Of course " he replied " but...er...Can I call you Vanoss?"  
I exploded with happiness. "OMG YES OF COURSE YOU CAN!!!" I shouted, hugging him.

After calming myself down I asked him " why do you want to call me that?"  
"I don't know" he answered honestly, "I just look at you and I feel an urge to call you that".  
"Okay. How do you feel when I call you Delirious?" I inquired.  
He smiled warmly, "it gives me butterflies in my stomach." He answered, "is that good?".  
"Believe me Delirious" I said, holding his hands, "that is wonderful".

~le time skip~

I cleaned up the last of the candy as I walked around the living room. Delirious had gone to bed a while ago and I was getting pretty tired myself. I headed upstairs and grabbed some pajames and changed into them. I walked into the bedroom and headed towards the bed Delirious was reading in. As I lifted up the covers heard a 'err'. I looked up and saw Delirious staring at me.  
" if you don't mind me asking" I started " what are you doing".  
"in getting into bed" I said in an isnt-that-obvious kind of tone. Then I noticed he fidgeted in an uncomfortable way. "you don't want me to, do you?"  
"did we use to?" He asked.  
"i swear on my life we did" I told him, hoping he took my word on it.  
" Okay then" he said with a half smile.

A while later after we had both turned off our lights and lay down to sleep I heard delirious call out.  
"Vanoss?" He said.  
"yeah?" I replied.  
"Can we....Can we cuddle?".  
I smiled "sure". I turned and embraced him into my arms as we fell asleep.

Delirious P.O.V

A pair of lyrics played in my head

My mind's telling me no,  
But my body's telling me yes.


	35. Chapter 35

Vanoss P.O.V  
I woke up with Delirious still in my arms, he made soft snoring sounds every so often and it was very cute....I need to start being more manly. I decided with that I would go to the gym, since I was getting physically soft.

I got up and walked to the bathroom. I looked at the mirror cabinet and saw that my hair was a mess, so I opened the cabinet to get a hair brush when I saw them.

his blades

I couldn't even take the sight of them. I picked them up, which resulted in me cutting my finger, and flushed them down the toilet. I found a bandaid and put it on my finger and continued with grooming my hair until I was happy with it.

After I had finished with doing everything in the bathroom, I went back to the bedroom to find Delirious just waking up and sitting on the side of the bed.  
"good morning" I greeted him with a smile.  
He turned around and returned the smile but said nothing. I wonder if he's okay.

Delirious P.O.V

I flashed a smile at Evan and got up. I walked out of the bedroom and went downstairs to the kitchen to make some food. Evan followed me in my tracks.  
"What you up to?" He asks me as I turned on the cooking hobs.  
"i need foooood" I replied with a giggle.  
"i know you need food" he smiled "but what are you making?".  
"i want fooood" I laughed.  
"I can see that! What are you making?"  
"you can't have it" I said seriously.  
"what can't I have? What if I don't want it?"  
"Doesn't matter, you're not having it"  
"Well I didn't want it anyway!"  
"fine but you're not having it"  
"WELL I DONT EVEN WANT IT" Vanoss said, leaving the room.  
After waiting a few seconds I said to myself "it's bacon".  
"FUCK" Vanoss shouted from the hallway.

~a while later~

Vanoss had just left to go to the gym. Even though I have only known him a day I wish he had stayed, I don't like being on my own. I wandered round the house looking at his things.

That's when a came across a picture strip of me and him, he and I were smiling in the 1st picture, then in 2nd he was kissing my cheek and I was flushed red, in the 3rd we were kissing each other and then in the last one my head was on his shoulder with my eyes closed and Evans arm was around my shoulder and he was looking down at me. I felt a pang in my heart as I looked at it.

I sat down on the couch with my laptop and started to think, trying to remember. I know that my past was horrible but maybe I'll just remember the good stuff. I remembered yesterday, waking up to Vanoss, going home, sleeping with him and cuddling with him. But what happened before? I threw my hands to my head something metal hit me. I looked down at my hands and looked at the ring around my finger. I stared at it remember what Vanoss told me. That's when the laptop started to ring....what? I looked at it and it said 'Mini is calling'.

I picked up the call and saw two guys.  
"hiya delirious" one said with a slight British accent.  
"uhh, hi?" I replied, confused.  
The two men exchanged confused glances. "Ermm, we were wondering if you and Vanoss wanted to come on a double date with us, we've gotten back together" he smiled, holding up their connected hands.  
"you were dating?" I asked.  
"yeah...do you not remember?" The other one inquired.  
"how about you remind me?".

Vanoss P.O.V

I patted my head with a towel again as I got back into my car. I started the ignition and left the gym. I hummed to the songs on the radio as I drove home.

I pulled up into the drive way and got out, picking up my duffel bag with me. I walked up to the door and walked in. As I walked into the living room, I saw Delirious talking to someone via Skype and he looked very interested.  
"That's when you and Vanoss came from Ireland to help us but, we broke up." Mini finished.  
"Mini?" I called.  
"Vanoss?" He called back.  
"what were you talking about I said walking over to join Delirious on the couch.  
"Delirious forgot how me and Wildcat broke up so I reminded him."  
"thanks for that" Delirious said, "do you think I could call you back?"  
"um, sure" Mini said, terminating that call.  
"Delirious what did he-" I started before Delirious cut me off  
"Dude. I remember so much now."


	36. Chapter 36

Vanoss P.O.V  
Delirious told me what he remembered. He remembers: us living together, our engagement, Mini and Wildcat breaking up and various other events that happened in our past. One of the many good things about this is that he doesn't remember that he self harmed so hopefully he won't start again.

Delirious is also starting to warm up to the fact that he is gay. He seemed really uncomfortable at first but now, nearly everyday, he's starting to be the old him.

Today we were going to have a double date with Mini and Wildcat but since they aren't in Florida, we're going to record GTA. Delirious watched me as I setup the recording equipment, every once in a while he would ask a question like 'why do we need to plug in an 'Elgato'?, 'Why do you put a thingy in front of the mic?' and so on. I had forgotten that Delirious doesn't know about YouTube so I explained that to him too.

I relocated to the Xbox upstairs so Delirious could use the Xbox downstairs.Once I got everybody into a lobby, we began to wreck havoc on each other.

Delirious P.O.V  
Vanoss, Mini, Wildcat and I were blowing each other up with C4, and basically just being chaotic. We decided that we would team up and try to kill each other. As Mini and Wildcat tried to steal a jet, I tried to find Vanoss.  
" Dude I got a car, hop in" Vanoss said through the headset.  
I looked around but I couldn't see him. "Vanoss, where's your car?" I asked but I got a faint memory in the back of my head  
"I'm right next to you" Vanoss said as he pulled up beside me, but I didn't care about that.  
"Tyler are you in the plane?" Mini asked.  
"No you idiot-" Tyler replied and then I phased out.

'No, you idiot. He was hiding it from you because we were planning against you like always'.

"Hey guys, time out for a sec." Vanoss spoke. I watched him fast-walk down the stairs to me.  
He looked at me from the doorway and asked "Are you okay?". I was about to answer but my throat got tight as images of me slashing at my skin with a blade flashed before my eyes.  
"Could I get some water?" I croaked.  
"Of course, stay there" Vanoss replied before disappearing into the kitchen.

I took deep breaths to prevent me from being sick but then my phone started to ring.  
It was Tyler.  
I got nervous as I answered the phone.  
"Hi Tyler" I greeted as nonchalantly as possible.  
" Hey dude, are you ight? I can hear Vanoss through your headset."He asked slightly panicked, I didn't expect him to say that.  
"Im okay Tyler, thank you for asking."  
"No problem friend. But, if you're just saying that, I want you to know that you can talk to me-" "AND ME" Mini shouted from the distance. "and mini" Tyler chuckled "if there is anything wrong. To be honest with you, I feel that ever since you and Vanoss came to Mini and I before we broke up, we've been more than friends. Not in that way or anything but if I were to call you and Vanoss my friends, I would feel like that's an understatement."  
"Same here buddy" I smiled, "But can I ask you something?"  
"Anything"

I could've easily said ' Were you ever a dick to me?' But that would've made it awkward between me and Wildcat. And after what he said, what would be the point? So what if he was a dick to me, he cares about me now, and that's all that matters.

" Its nothing, mate".

Vanoss came in with a glass of water and headed upstairs. We recorded for hours and got way more footage than we needed. After this, I feel like I know Mini and Wildcat in a whole new light.

I'm glad that they are my friends.


	37. Chapter 37

Vanoss P.O.V  
"You're not seriously going to time me are you?" Delirious asked.  
"THATS 2 SECONDS" I shouted with enthusiasm.  
"SHIT" Delirious screamed, literally panicked.  
I was training Delirious to setup the recording equipment so that he can remeber to do it by himself. After around 3 minutes he plopped down on his butt and breathed "Finished". I got up and checked the recording equipment: The windscreen was on the mic, Elgato was up and running, all media was safely being stored into the folder we named 'Recordings' and his mic was plugged in (he has forgotten to do that so many times). Pleased with his work I turned to Delirious who was now standing up and texting the others (AKA Mini and Wildcat) via Xbox Live. I walked up behind him, wrapped my arms around his waist and kissed his cheek, "It's perfect, just like you".

Mini P.O.V  
Tyler and I were waiting for Vanoss and Delirious to join our lobby so that we could start doing shit. I was sitting in Tyler's lap...or more precisely I was sitting between his legs, his arms were underneath my arms and controller rested on pelvis while his head rested on top of my head which at this moment was rolled back into the crook of his neck.  
"Dude" Tyler said in a very mono/relaxed tone.  
"Wassup" I replied in the same voice as he has.  
"Do you ever think about us getting married?".  
Shit, what? Haven't we been dating only a month? I know we dated for nearly a year last time but we broke up, isn't this a fresh start?  
"Don't worry, I'm not asking that" he chuckled, rubbing my leg in a relieving way. " It's just, I think about it all the time, not the marriage ceremony or anything but everything after that. Like, when we live together, sleep together, just living together. I once went as far as us getting a kid, a little boy named Johnny, after Delirious. We were sat down in a pair of garden lounging chairs as he ran around with Evan and Delirious' kid. He was giggling and making 'whoosh' noises as he ran around with a wooden airplane. It's a childhood-" I heard Tyler sniff, "-a childhood I would've wanted".

I felt Tyler start to cry, to soothe him I put my hand in his.

"I don't even know why I'm crying" he laughed.

I kicked over an empty beer can "Blame it on the alcohol" I quoted.

"That's my song you bitch!" Evan laughed through our TV.

"TIME TO GIVE DA PUNCAKE" Tyler shouted, blowing himself up with a C4.

I would've said something but my throat was feeling really thick and I didn't want to cry.

Delirious P.O.V

Vanoss and I found Mini 'crying' over his beautiful 'piggy' boyfriend.

"MY SUCCULENT, FATTENING BOYFRIEND" Mini cried out in tears.

"MY MACDONALDS" I cheered as I crouched and started to creep up on Wildcats corpse, but it disappeared before I could get to it. "Aww, I was hungry".

"Eat the Asian Kung Pow Chicken then" Mini Laughed as he ran away.

We continued to mess around for a few hours until we all agreed we were actually hungry so we had a break to get some food. I scavenge the cupboards and fridge, grabbing cheese and bread to make a sandwich and Evan got some Mountain Dew and Cookies as an energy boost I guess. I started to grate some cheese into a bowl but Evan kept taking pieces."I won't have enough if you keep taking them!" I scolded him.

"Eat some then" He laughed grabbing a handful of cheese and shoving it into my mouth and getting it everywhere. "Ugh" I groaned as I crouched down and began to pick up the cheese, Evan bent down later to help me.  
As there was once piece left we both reached for it and our hands touched, as they did I looked up at Evan and he was looking at me.

Evan snatched his hand away and put on a girly voice, "Oh my, how coincidental. Our hands just seemed to touch! Maybe we are meant to be!".

I burst out laughing at the ridiculousness of it and so did Evan. We both got up, collected our food and returned to our consoles.

After several more hours of gaming we decided to call it a night and go to bed. I cuddled up with Evan as we got into the bed and had the best night sleep I've had in a while.


	38. Chapter 38

Wildcats P.O.V  
Mini and I were turning off the Xbox's and I was about to go to the kitchen to make some food.  
"Hey Mini" I spoke from the kitchen.  
"yeah?" He shouted from the living room.  
"I love you Homie"  
"I love you too........No homo"  
I walked into the living room and stood behind, then with a derp face I said "Really dude? You going to go and add the no homo?"  
"You know I don't mean it" He smiled at me.  
I then grabbed his shoulders, spun him round to face me, got a fistful of his shirt, pulled him close to me and whispered in his ear "Prove it".

With that we started to kiss. At first it was a sweet and slow kiss but then we started to include tongue and more passionate. Craig pushed me down to the floor, it hurt but I liked the feeling I got from it. The sense of his dominance but jeez, who was he fooling when he did that. I'm definitely the more dominate one. To put him back in his place I harshly nibbled on his lip and made him yelp. With his sudden defenselessness, I took the opportunity to switch sides so that I was on top.  
(At this moment, Panda has started to cringe harshly because she really hates writing smut xD)  
As I broke our kiss, I removed his shirt while pinning his wrists above his head. I found the soft spot on his neck that I knew all too well and began to suck on it, Craig moaned in pleasure. I felt his wrists wiggling under my hand as he tried to break free of my grasp. I got too into the sucking and forgot about his hand, he broke free and began to tug at my shirt. I removed my clothing, all of it and he removed his.  
Laying on top of each other, naked, we began to kiss again as Craig reached from my member. I didn't know what he was doing until I felt it, immediately, blood rushed to my member and I arched my back in pleasure. I could feel his smirk on my lips.

"You're teasing me too much C-Craig, please" I begged.  
We rolled over and Craig began to suck my member, taking long strokes and purposely playing with me. After a while, I couldn't take it anymore. I tangled my fingers in his hair and forced him along my shaft. I could feel his tongue wrapping around my shaft and licking at the tip. I couldn't hold back anymore and came in his mouth. Without taking a breath, he swallowed all of it.

I relaxed from my climax and layed down, my head rolling over to my side. Craig came up beside me and kissed my nose sweetly. He smiled his cute smiled and whispered:  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
"No Homo"


	39. Chapter 39

Vanoss POV

I pulled out of the driveway of our house and started to drive onto the road (wtf is a free way? IDK. I looked it up, it's a motorway thingy). Due to mega gaming hours and not going outside AT ALL, Delirious and I had run out of food. I was going to Wal-Mart (I want to go Wal-Mart *cri* ) to pick up necessities like Mountain Dew and Doritos as well as milk and bread.

I pulled up into the Car park and saw a space right in front of the entrance doors so I did some 'Fast And Furious' shit and swerved into the space. I parked the car, turned off the ignition and got out and walked towards the doors. As I walked into Wal-Mart I heard a sharp inhale come from my left. I looked over and saw a girl, in and around the age of 16, gawping at me. I furrowed my eyebrows and waved at her but then she said "Are you VanossGaming?". Not really used to meeting fans in public I just smiled and nodded. "Oh My Gosh! Can I take a selfie with you?", "Um, sure?". I was really pleased as she beamed at me and clapped her hands as she got out her phone and came over to me. I put my left hand on her shoulder as she took the picture. She turned to say thanks but then her eyes opened really wide. Confused, I asked her what was wrong and she grabbed my left hand , quite tightly, and said " Are you engaged?". It was really funny with the hope I could see in her eyes so I just shrugged and derply said "I don't know" before walking away. As I was walking I could hear her squealing behind me and I nearly laughed out loud.

~Time skip to after Wal-Mart~

I reversed back into the drive way and watched from the rear view mirror as Delirious came to the door. He has a smug look on his face with his eyebrows raised. I put the car back into park and got out the car. I made my way to the boot, where all the food was, and Delirious walked towards me. I could now clearly see he was holding his phone. "What's up buttercup" I asked kissing him on the fore head. "Meet a fan?" He asked but in a tone that said I-already-know-the-answer. "Yep, she upload the photo onto Twitter or something?" . "Not only twitter" He stated "But your Face book Page, Tagged you on Instagram and its all over tumblr". Once again I was slightly confused since Delirious didn't sound mad at all but he was making a big deal out of it. " Is there something wrong with it? Did I have something in my teeth?" I asked jokingly. "Nooooo" he giggled his cute giggle, "But you did have your engagement ring in full view " He ended with a smile in the shape of a 'L' and finally showing me the phone. I took the phone from him and looked at the picture, and sure enough my ring was in full view for everyone to see. Delirious turned on his heel and said "You can deal with this.....and bringing the food".

~Later~

After I had packed away all the shopping, I set up my camera on a tripod stand and started to explain the photo. I really didn't mind anyone knowing, Jonathan and I were openly gay and the fan-base was really supportive. This was one of the most easiest videos and possibly one of the shortest I have made. I just explained that I loved Jonathan more than my own life and I didn't ever want him to leave me so I proposed and, obviously, he said yes. I ended the video with a 'L' shaped smile and shrugged before leaning over and turning off the camera. I put the SD card into the computer, transferred it over to YouTube and left the video to render, it didn't really need a thumbnail or any editing.

I came down in time for some GTA Heist missions and a Gmod Horror Map. WildCat, Mini, Delirious and I had started to record videos just between us more often since we were all a lil' gay.....just a little. After hours of swearing, fails and jumpscares, finished recording at around 9-ish so I used my remaining time to edit the videos and upload them to YouTube. I didn't really think that Engagement video was enough for the day. When Jonathan and I were done editing we headed downstairs to make some food before bed since both of us had barely eaten all say. I put some bread in the toaster and rashers(bacon) in a pan. It was midnight-ish so we both wanted something quick and tasty to eat. After waiting the recommended 15mins of frying time, we took the rashers out of the pan and put them onto the toast. Delirious snatched the pan from my hand a smothered it in water, breathing out happily when he heard the sizzle of the pan and smoke come from it. I rolled my eyes at his immaturity and put the rasher sandwiches onto a plate, then carrying them upstairs.

Jonathan and I got changed into our pajamas and got into bed. Jonathan went straight to sleep but i stayed awake to check the comments on the engagement video. I was slightly surprised at how pleasant the comments were, there was a bad egg every once in awhile but apart from that everyone was really supportive. Knowing i could rest easy I turned off my laptop, turned off my table light, rolled over and put my arm around Jonathan. I kissed the side of his neck and told him "I love you".

Maybe too much for my own good


	40. Chapter 40

Vanoss P.O.V

Delirious and I started to make preparations for our wedding. Wildcat was going to be my best man and Delirious wanted Mini to be his maid of honour. We skyped the two and they were ecstatic, well Mini was until he realised that he and Wildcat hadn't come out yet so it would look weird if he was the maid of honour. apart from that they were over the moon.

Delirious and I started to look at venues and entertainment facilities. Luckily we didn't have to worry about the dress since we were guys and we both just needed a nice tux so that was one major thing we didn't have to care about. We wanted a spring wedding, that way it was warm yet cool, not too cold or too hot. Flowers would just be blooming and there shouldn't be too much wind. We weren't going to have a massive ceremony, just close friends and family.

Our invitation list consisted of:

· My Mom

· My Dad

· Any other immediate relatives

· Delirious' Mom

· Daithi (BTW this is Irish for David #TheMoreYouKnow)

· Basically

· Lui

· Mini

· Wildcat

When I saw Delirious only put down his mom and no one else I went to question him why but realised if he wanted me to know, he would've told me.

The only thing we had left to was get rings and foodies. I had a cousin who could make a mean apple pie and I was sure we could find some rentable chefs somewhere in Florida so I set out to find the perfect ring.

I went to town the next day and look for wedding bands. They were all really expensive but it was worth it for Jonathan. First, I tried looking at sapphire encrusted rings so that they would match his hoodie and then went on to look at other more 'traditional' rings. Eventually, with the help of a assistant, I picked a very simple sapphire wedding band that didn't cost all that much due to a discount I got from the assistant.

I drove home to find Delirious sitting at the kitchen table with a calculator and was surrounded by many pieces of paper. He looked at me when I came in the door and he shook his head. "Dude, this is going to cost us a lot of money. Even with all the cut backs we make" he told me. I walked over to him and gave him a half smile before kissing him on his the side of his head. "Well do this when we are ready, okay? Besides, I don't need a ring to prove I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Speaking of which, look what I bought today" I said as I took the wedding bands out of my pocket. Delirious eyes almost popped out of his head. "Evan! Oh my God!" He breathed, taking one of them out of my hand and examining it. "Sapphire encrusted. That way it'll match this God forsaken hoodie that you never take off" I smiled. "It's beautiful" Delirious stared at the ring, "Not as beautiful as you though. C'mon, let's get an early nights rest" I told him even though it was around 10PM. With a yawn and a stretch, Delirious agreed but demanded I bring down the duvet so we can watch movies on Netflix as we fall asleep. I thought it was a childish idea but it's these kind of ideas that remind me why I love him so much.

I brought down the duvet and some extra pillows and dragged them into the living room where Delirious was sitting, waiting for me. I threw the duvet and a few pillows onto him and he gave me a scowl before throwing them back.....we ended up having an hour long pillow fight but whatever, it made him happy so I don't care. Delirious finally cuddled up on the couch with me and ended up falling asleep while watching FullMetal Alchemist'. I stayed awake a while longer and just about remember dozing off as the final scene with the family photo came onto the screen.


	41. Chapter 41

Delirious P.O.V

"Boom! Headshot" I shouted.

"Motherfucker!" Vanoss whined, defeated once again.

For a while now, Vanoss and I had been playing Black Ops 2 since nobody did anymore and we were preparing for Black ops 3. I had just blasted Vanoss in the face with a shot gun.

"I'm usually the one to do that!" He stated.

"Stop complaining and 1v1 me, BITCH!"

"OH, You're on!".

 

After several more rounds we decided to give it a break cus' Vanoss kept los—- we were tired....

"Want something to eat? You ought to be hungry" Vanoss asked, face inside of the refrigerator.

"CHEESEBURGER!" I shouted with maybe a little too much enthusiasm...maybe. Vanoss chuckled, closing the fridge and opening the freezer "Okay. We'll make some cheese burgers."

Vanoss put some patty's in a pan while I started to gather some sauces and grate some cheese. After a while we had a nice 'murican meal and started to nom.

 

"Hey dude" Vanoss started.

"What up" I asked.

"Can we talk?", I gave him a frightened stare before he shook his head, "Not like that but can we have a, like, proper talk?"

"Go for it" I told him, going back to my burger.

"Well, I wanna talk about our future....Like......Kids."

I looked him in the eye, was he talking for realsies here?

"I know I probably sound like I'm pushing it and thinking ahead, jeez I'm only 22 but I've been thinking" Vanoss put down his burger and wiped his hands, "Once we're married, how long will we wait until we have a kid, not that we could have a kid but, like, would we get a segregate or adoption? Would we even be able to handle one with youtube and all? Its not like we are going to have them straight after we get married cus' they would-"

"They? You've been using singular nouns that entire speech" I butted in.

Evan flushed a bright pink and scratched the back of his neck, "Well, in all honesty...I would like more than one. Specifically a little girl and then a boy."

 

I completely zoned out after that, I'd heard enough. He has obviously thought about our future together. He seemed really nervous, which is quite cute. I honestly haven't thought that far ahead. Ever since I met Vanoss I've only ever thought about 3 things: 1) Meeting him in person, Check 2) Dating him, Check and 3) Kissing him, Oh Good God Check. These things which were once only dreams in my head, are now reality. But, back to the thinking ahead thing. What if Evan and I did have kids.......

 

"Jessica...Maybe" I said, thinking.

"What?" Vanoss asked, confused.

"Jessica and .....Tyler? Craig? Oh! Maybe we'll get twins!".

"Wait" Vanoss said with a serious look,yet looking excited "Are you talking about names?".

"Yeah" I giggled shyly.

"Yay! Oh erm *Clears Throat* yay" He smiled a sheepish grin "Well....Isabel and Jacob" Vanoss inputted.

"Oh My God! They are adorable!"

 

~1 Hour Later~

 

MiniLadd P.O.V

I was sat at my computer, Tweeting tweets and editing a long-ass video. I'll admittedly say I was bored out of my brain. I continued to cut out bits here, add effects there and every once in a while, tweet Tyler about recording some Gmod later, I would've just shouted down the hall but he was with his parents at the moment. Then, I got a call via Skype from Vanoss. I answered it and was immediately greeted with lots of shouting.

"JESSICA OR ISABEL" I heard one voice say, "WHICH IS CUTER".

"IT'S OBVIOUSLY JESSICA , SHE COULD LOOK LIKE THAT TOY FROM TOY STORY".

"NUH UH, ITS DEFINITELY ISABEL, WE COULD CALL HER IZZY AND MAKE HER RAP BADLY!" (no offence anyone who likes Iggy)

"What is this about?" I ask calmly, getting a slight headache from the shouting.

"OUR DAUGHTERS NAME"

"WHICH SHOULD BE ISABEL"

"NOO, IT SHOULD BE JESSICA"

"GUYS!" I shouted, two fingers massaging my temples, "What about Jessabelle?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"OH MY GOOD GRACIOUS GOD"

"THAT'S AMAZING MINI"

"YOU GENIUS"

"CAN YOU TWO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND PLAY VIDEO GAMES RIGHT NOW"

"Jesus Christ Craig, no need to shout" Said what sounded like Vanoss.

"YOU FUCKING SUSHI ROLL! IF YOU AND JONATHAN DON'T GET YOUR ASSES ON GMOD IN THE NEXT 2 SECONDS, I'LL RUMPELSTILTSKIN ALL OVER YO DAUGHTER!"

"Shit dude, we'll be on in the next few minutes, calm down" Delirious muttered before ending the call.

 

I leaned back in my chair, running fingers through my hair as I tried to calm my headache , but was interrupted by another Skype call. This time it was Tyler.

"Yo dude- are you okay? you look out of it."

"Yeah I just got a ridiculous phone call form Vanoss and Delirious".

"Oh, what was it about?".

I paused for a moment, thinking." Dude can we have kids one day?"

"B-Bro, were just friends, we c-can't have kids!" He said, giving me a weird stare.

"The fuck you on mate? You're my boyfriend!"

"WHAT" I heard a women shout in the background.

"I'm going to kill you when I get back"Tyler whispered and then sighed, "Mom, I have to tell you something.".


	42. Chapter 42

Delirious P.O.V

"But what if he says no?" I panicked.  
"Dude, I don't think he would've been pulling his hair out over this if he was going to say no" Mini chuckled.   
Evan had been stressing over the wedding from the moment we had set a date. It was slightly annoying, the amount of times he had said 'Nooo, we cant have roses! That's tacky' or 'It can't be turquoise, or ocean blue! It must be a teal blue' but it was adorable, seeing how much effort he was putting in. He had sent invitations to his family and friends were I had only sent an invitation to my mom and I jointed with Evan when we sent invitations to our friends. No one in my family really respected the fact I was marrying another man.  
Oh it's only a phase, it'll pass.  
What do you mean you're actually marrying him?  
Jesus Jonathan, you're such a disgrace...

Yeah...I'm a disgrace. You don't have to tell me twice.

Mini helped to calm my nerves while Lui, who sat on the other side of my dressing room, read out congratulation tweets from our fans. Vanoss and I both tweeted a photo of us in our respective tuxedos (They were both the same, black jackets with matching black pants, black shoes and a white collar shirt. The only difference between was that I had a teal vest and he had a ruby one with matching coloured ties), announcing our wedding and we almost crashed twitter with the amount of retweets we received. Wildcat, Marcel and 407 were with Vanoss while Mini and Lui were with me. 407, Marcel, and Wildcat were accompanying Evan at the aisle, Wildcat being his best man, and Mini and Lui were walking down with me, Mini being my best man.  
"I'm going to the bathroom" I say, walking out of the room.

I walk down a long, carpeted hallway until I reach the bathroom. I open the door and lock it as I walk in. Taking a deep breath, I look at myself in the mirror. I smile, a genuine smile.  
"I'm marrying my best friend, co-worker and lover today" I tell myself.  
"Are you sure about that first and last one?" A voice responds, a voice I know all to well.  
"Yes I'm sure" I snap back, "and everyone is supporting me!".  
"Does Wildcat though?" It responds.

No you idiot. He was hiding it from you because we were plotting against you like always.

Wildcats words echoed around my head.  
"Are you sure he supports you? Does he even like you? DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?"  
"..."  
"WELL? ANSWER ME!".  
Tears dribbled down my cheeks as I left the bathroom and went back to the dressing room. Mini and Lui looked at me.  
"Oh God! Dude, are you alright?" Lui asked.  
I couldn't tell him what had happened, he would call me crazy. "I'm...I'm just so happy" I told him, which wasn't really a lie.  
"Oh, okay" He said with a smile, wiping my cheeks, "Try to stop crying, you're going down the aisle in a minute".

Vanoss P.O.V

I stood at the end of the aisle with Tyler, Marcel and Scotty behind me. I tapped my foot against the carpet, getting a cramp in the ball of my foot. 

The organ starts to play, everyone rises and turns to the arch at the back of the room. Mini, Lui and Delirious walk into the entrance and make their way down the aisle. I look away from Delirious and look around the room. My family and friends are here, everyone is smiling. In the front row there was a small, blonde woman, holding a handkerchief to her mouth, which was curved into a massive smile, and patting away tears. I'm guessing she's Delirious' mom. Looking back at Delirious, he had tears slowly running down his face. I couldn't help but give him a reassuring smile.

Once he was in my radius, I reached out for his hand , which he gave me, and I softly pulled him forward. As he stood infront of me, he bowed his head so I couldn't see his face. I squeezed his hand to let him know I was here for him. He looked back up with a smile,which caused me to smile. And thus, the ceremony went on.

You'll also like

Insane With Feelings (H2OVanoss) [Completed] by ThatOneGirlyShipper  
Insane With Feelings (H2OVanoss) [Completed]  
By ThatOneGirlyShipper  
43.3K 2K  
Evan's Dare: (H2ODelirious Book Two) by GingerProductions  
Evan's Dare: (H2ODelirious Book Two)  
By GingerProductions  
39.2K 1.7K  
You've Changed - H2OVanoss [Completed] by Puerto_Ricochet  
You've Changed - H2OVanoss [Completed]  
By Puerto_Ricochet  
71.9K 3.2K  
Living with Fear [H2oVanoss] [Book 2] [On Hold] by ToxicRenai  
Living with Fear [H2oVanoss] [Book 2] [On Ho...  
By ToxicRenai  
34.4K 2.8K  
Broken But Then Fixed - H2OVanoss by BunnehJuice  
Broken But Then Fixed - H2OVanoss  
By BunnehJuice  
124K 4.4K  
The Surprise Visit (H2OVanoss) [Completed] by ThatOneGirlyShipper  
The Surprise Visit (H2OVanoss) [Completed]  
By ThatOneGirlyShipper  
46.5K 1.8K  
H2OVanoss - Straight As A Pencil by InsaneYush  
H2OVanoss - Straight As A Pencil  
By InsaneYush  
54.9K 2.7K  
Delirious P.O.V  
I heard the organ begin to play  
"That's our cue" Lui spoke, taking my side as Mini took the other.

They brought me to the entrance of the arch that led to the aisle. I looked at the pews which were filled with friends and family...well..Evans family. I looked at Evan who made eye contact with me but immediately broke it to look around.  
"He can't even stand to look at you...probably because of that nasty scar".

I tried to shake the voice out of my head and followed Evans gaze too see what he was looking at. It landed on my mom. She was looking at me from the front row with a handkerchief covering her mouth and...was she crying?  
"Shes so disappointed in you. Just like everyone else. She thought you were joking but, obviously not."

I started to softly cry as Evan finally looked at me, giving me a small smile.  
"HA. That's the most obvious pity smile I've ever seen! He knows he's led you on and now he's upset because he's going to have you cry infront of all these people."

Evan reached out for my hand, which I gave him but bowed my head so he didn't see my tears. I just wanted to collapse and bawl right now. Or, to just run out and never see these people again. I felt Evans grip tighten around my hand.  
"He wants to see if you're crying yet, dumbass. Look at him."  
I didn't want to make Evan upset, so I forced the biggest smile I could and looked up at him. He smiled back at me and thus, the ceremony went on.

-Skipping vows and stuff cus' I'm not good at writing sad, sappy stuff-

Vanoss P.O.V

"Now! The exchange of the rings!" the priest announced.  
I turned around and was given my ring for Jonathan from Tyler and then faced Delirious once more.  
"We have the rings? Good. I shall start with you, Evan Fong" He said, turning to me.

" Evan Fong, as you place the ring on Jonathan's finger, please repeat after me:

"I Evan" , "I Evan"

"Take Jonathan to be my husband" , "Take Jonathan to be my husband"  
"I promise you love, honor and respect" , "I promise you love, honor and respect"

"to be faithful to you" , "to be faithful to you"

"and forsaking all others" , " and forsaking all others" 

"until death do us part" , "until death do us part"

I slipped the ring onto Jonathan's finger, a tear running down my face out of pure happiness. The priest then turned to Jonathan.

"Jonathan, as you place the ring on Evan's finger, please repeat after me:

"I Jonathan" , "I Jonathan"

"take Evan to be my husband." , " take Evan to be my husband." 

"I promise you love, honor and respect" , "I promise you love, honor and respect"

"to be faithful to you" , "to be faithful to you"

"and forsaking all others" , "and forsaking all others" 

"until death do us part."

"..."

People stared at Jonathan and I felt my heart drop to my stomach.

"un-until d-death do us part.".

Jonathan shakily put the ring on my finger and let out a nervous breath.

"Now. Does anyone objectify to this marriage?"  
Jonathan sucked in and held a deep breath.  
No one spoke and Jonathan let out his breath once more.

"Well then. Today, Jonathan and Evan honored you with their invitation to be present with them today for this ceremony.  
And so, this day, they declare before all of us that they shall live together in marriage.  
In the traditional way, they entered into their marriage with the joining of hands, the making of vows and promises, and the giving and receiving of rings, an outward symbol of their voluntary commitment to one another.

By the authority vested in me by the State of California, I pronounce you to each other, husband and husband.  
You may now kiss your partner.".

And with that. I confirmed my marriage with my best friend and lover with a kiss. Now not only being my best friend and lover, but now, my husband.

Once the after party was over and Delirious and I had our first dance together, we set off for our honeymoon. I had rented a 3 day hotel in the Bahamas with breakfast every morning and a special honeymoon dinner on our last day. I honestly could not wait to start my new life with Delirious and at this moment, I felt like I had so much more than the richest man on earth.

Delirious P.O.V

After a very long ride in an airplane, Evan and I landed in the Bahamas. As we stepped out of the airport, we were hit by a warm, humid breeze and since we were already exhausted from the airplane, now we wanted to fall asleep more. Evan hailed a taxi and we were brought to our hotel. I've got to admit, Evan must of paid a lot of money for our wedding. This hotel is fantastic!

After checking in, we went up to out honeymoon suite, which again, left me awestruck. Evan carried both of our suitcases into the room and rested them against the wall before running and belly-flopping onto the massive king sized bed. I giggled at his immaturity.

Don't get attached, he'll leave you just like everyone else...

The voice echoed in my head as Evan looked at me.  
"Babe, you look really pale. Go splash some water on your face and I'll go get you something to drink, eh?" He said, smiling.

He's finding a way to get away from you...

"Yeah...sure" I said unenthusiastic-ally, going into the bathroom.  
I locked myself in as I heard Evan leave.  
"See? You're here to minutes and he already wants to go back down and flirt with the receptionist" the voice taunts me. "You always say you want him to be happy but you're dragging him down! Why don't you stop being selfish and let him GO!"   
"AND HOW WOULD I LET HIM GO" I shout, punching through a glass cabinet. Looking through the hole I made a see a packet of one-time-use shaving razor. I take them out and open it up, taking out one of the razor and dismantling it until its just a blade.

I look down at my left, bloody, hand. Twirling my wedding ring around on my finger. I look at my ugly face in the mirror and laugh once before I let rip at my wrist. Tears and blood begin to fill the sink.

"Until death do us part"


	43. Chapter 43

3rd Person P.O.V

Evan walked back to his hotel room, carrying a glass of water given to him by the bar maid. With a happy mind, thinking about his future with Jonathan, he exited the elevator he was in. Completely unaware of his near-dead husband only a few doors down.  
"Jonathan? Honey? Are you okay?" Evan called, entering the hotel room. Jonathan lay on the bathroom tiles, weak, unable to respond. Evan knocked once on the bathroom door...nothing. Getting slightly worried, he shimmied the door knob, hoping it would open. It didn't.  
"Jonathan, please! Open the door baby!" Evan pleaded, "I'll kick it down!". Jonathan, no longer on earth, stared at the door, his life flashing before his eyes.  
"Ya'know Evan...I...I always wanted to settle down with you" Jonathan said calmly, tears lining his cheeks, "I always wanted to have a kid and...heh, you wouldn't guess it but...I always wanted to get a cat. A lil' tabby cat with green eyes and would purr when you'd scratch its ear.....I'm never going to have that...am I?".  
"No!" Shouted Evan, tears running like a river, kicking the door once, "We'll have a kid! We'll settle down! We'll get a tabby cat with green eyes! Just-" Evan kicked the door once more, "Just wait!".  
Jonathan smiled, knowing that the last thing he'll see is the door in front of him getting pummeled.  
'Its no use' Jonathan thinks to him self, 'I'm going to be dead by the time he gets in here'. Jonathan laughs once but his smile fades. 'I don't want to die...I don't want to die!'.  
"EVAN! EVAN PLEASE! HELP! I DON'T WANT TO DIE!" Jonathan cries out.  
"YOU WONT, JUST, HOLD ON!".

Evan rapidly kicks the door until the lock busts. He gets stuck in place when he looks at his husband. Both of his arms, from wrist to elbow, are covered in blood. The scars on his face are been reopened and are still gushing blood. He has to gulp to keep down vomit and runs to his partners side.  
"Jonathan..."Evan whispers, cupping the side of his husbands face, blooding covering his fingers. "Just, just hold on! I'm calling an ambulance!...Jonathan?"  
Evan looked at Jonathan, head lolled back and eyes looked empty...but they were still on him.  
"Evan..."   
"What? What is it Jonathan?"   
"When I die...Will you still love me?"  
"You're not going to die! You're going to live and we're going to go home and play video games and have movie marathons and, and ,and...".  
Evan looked at his husband but his eyes were dull, no emotion on his face.  
"Jonathan?".  
Evan was too late. Evan couldn't save him before he let go.

~~~~~~~

An ambulance pulled up a few minutes later. Evan clung to Jonathan like a teddy bear until they were forced to separate by paramedics. Evan was allowed to come with Jonathan in the ambulance but it was a long ride to the hospital. The journey was filled by paramedics trying to get a heart beat out of Jonathan while Evan stared at his body, waiting for him to pop up and be like 'GOTCHA EVAN! Hahaha!'. But he didn't, he lay still and motionless...like he was sleeping.

The ambulance pulled into the drive way of the hospital. The paramedics transferred Jonathan onto a stretcher and rushed him into the hospital. Evan kept up with them until he was told he was not allowed to go any further. Then, he just watched his husband get wheeled away...never to be seen again.

Vanoss P.O.V

My heart? Destroyed. My life? Worthless. And what have I got to live for? Nothing. 

I shuffled down the endless maze of halls until I found the waiting room. I sat in a chair at the far back corner so no one could see me and I called the two last people on earth I cared about.

Tyler and Craig rushed into the waiting room, tears running down theirs faces like waterfalls. They didn't see me due to the fact I was in the corner so they ran up to the woman at the counter. I saw her shake her head but then point to me. Tyler and Craig turned and looked at me, both of their looked like they were looking at a dead litter of kittens. I thought about how I looked: A blank expression, tear stained cheeks, covered in my husbands blood and I was still in my damned wedding tuxedo. To put it simply, I probably looked broken. 

They walked over to me and sat down. Every once in a while, their mouths would open but then close.  
"He slit both of his arms open and the opened his scars on his face" I spoke, monotone. I felt like I was just an empty body now. Like, as if I was hollow.  
Craig choked out a sob and began to cry whilst Tyler held him close. I crossed my arms and leaned back in my chair, pissed at myself for not helping him.

This was my fault.

We stayed their for hours. Craig and Tyler fell asleep from time to time but I stayed awake. I had to be awake when he came back. Soon enough though, my head became heavy and started to loll onto my shoulder. One of my eyes shut and wouldn't open. My breaths became heavy and my other eye began to flutter. 

When my eyes reopened. I was getting off a plane. I followed the people in front of me until we came to baggage claim. I picked up my suitcase and continue through the air port. I had looked around until I heard a familiar voice.  
"EVAN" Shouted a running figure in the distance. 'Wait a second' I thought.  
The figure got closer and joy filled my hollow body, "JONATHAN". I held out my arms to him like I did once before but instead of hugging me, he kissed me. His soft lips on mine...it felt so real. 

When we separated, we were at the carnival and the disgusting, flirty girl was walking away.  
"Faggots" I hear her say.  
"Whore" Jonathan spits back, causing me to laugh. Feeling him close to me again, I missed his scent, posture, voice, and many other things. I try to embrace him but he's gone and the carnival hall has been stretched out massively.  
Furrowing my eyebrows, I hear a blood curdling scream. 

"EVAN! EVAN PLEASE! HELP! I DON'T WANT TO DIE!".

At the end of the hall is a door, the bathroom door.  
"I'M COMING JONATHAN"

I run, for all my worth I run but I feel like I'm getting no where. A light starts to shine behind the door.

"EVAN! EVAN PLEASE!"  
"DON'T WORRY JONATHAN! I'M ALMOST THERE!"

Just as I land my hand on the door knob, a force drags me back at an alarming speed

"EVAAAANN!" Jonathan screams.

"Evan!" Craig shakes me. It was all a dream. I can feel tears streaming down my face.

"Mr. Fong" A deep voice says beside me. I turn my head and see a man in a doctors jacket with a very sympathetic look on his face. 

God...Please no.

"I'm sorry Mr. Fong but....Your husband is dead."


	44. Chapter 44

Vanoss P.O.V

I was lying on our bed...well....my bed now. I reached out my hand above my head and scratched the tabby cat that was behind me. After I left the hospital I picked one up from the shelter downtown. 

My phone was going off again, probably Craig or Tyler. They were heart broken when the heard the news.  
"Evan, are you okay?"  
"Do you know why he did it?"  
"Oh my gosh, it's still your wedding day"

I sat up and paced the house. I couldn't go into the living room, it reminded me of all the times we had recorded together.  
I walked down the hallway until I stood in the kitchen door frame.  
"Why is it today, out of all days, you wake up early" I asked sarcastically, hands full of treats.  
"Well it seems my boyfriend learned to play the pots and pans" Jonathan sneered.  
I smiled and scratched the back of my neck, "Oh, sorry about that". 

Turning on my heel, I went back up the stairs and into the bathroom. As I stood in the middle of the room, I looked at the shower.  
Jonathan was rocking backwards and forwards.  
"Please, stop".  
"Jonathan?" I spoke. He looked at me with soft, tear soaked eyes. Picking him up bridal style, I brought him to the bedroom.  
Shouldn't I be crying? I can't even seem to produce a single tear. I feel so life-less.  
I put the toilet lid down and sit on it, my head between my knees and then flinging it back up to look at the heaven. To look at Jonathan.   
"Why can't I join you?" I ask.

In the corner of my eye I see a glimmer, the light bouncing off a metal object on top of the shower. I stand on top of the toilet and find what the light was shining off.  
"Hmm" I say to my self, " Maybe I can..."

~~~~~~  
15 Minutes Later  
~~~~~~

I lean against the wall, feeling light headed. I no longer feel empty and hollow. A burning or stinging sensation fills the void. I look down at my left wrist, feeling the burn erupt from it. "Ha, I give you credit little guy" I say to no one, lifting up my right hand to look at the blood covered blade, "I see why lil' old Johnny liked you so much."   
Thinking about Jonathan made me mad. Ya'know, he couldn't of waited until after the wedding, the wedding I spent so long to plan so that I could see him happy! Why?! Why did he kill himself on our night! Why couldn't he be happy with what I did for him!?  
"ARE YOU HAPPY NOW!" I shout to heavens, "ARE HAPPY THAT I'M FUCKED UP TOO?".

I hear a bell jingle as the kitten hides under the closet. I look at it, still mad but it soon starts to fade. Unfortunately, I couldn't get a green eyed cat but a blue eyed one. It had the same crystal blue eyes that Jonathan. I sigh and walk into the bed room lying down with my head in my arms so that I could look at the kitten but it stung my wrist like a bitch.  
"Is that you Jonathan?" I say. The kitten keeps full eye contact. "I bet you're not proud of what I just did, are you?". The kitten started to come out and once it was out from the closet, I picked it up and held it close to my chest.  
"I need you here Jonathan" I choke, "What happened to us being together...forever?".

I cried for what seems hours on end until I passed out. I dreamed that Jonathan and I were playing GTA and having the time of our lives until I heard him go to the bathroom and heard him screaming again. I raced to the bathroom but in there were several Jonathans; one was hanging by a noose, one had bled out, you had been drowned in the bath and another had an empty bottle of pills in his hand. I woke up feeling numb again. Sunlight was streaming in through the cracks in the blinds and the tabby cat with asleep on my chest. I sighed, put the kitten on the bed and got up. After popping a few joints, I walked over to my laptop.   
'Better tell everyone the news' I thought, loading up youtube. The laptop had a shitty camera but we didn't have an actual camera around. 

I placed the laptop on a nearby table and got a chair. Then I cleared my throat and hit record.  
"Hey. What's going on guys? Vanoss here and I wanted to tell you guys of an.....uh...event that happened last night. As you guys know it was Jonathan and I's wedding yesterday but..." Tears began to pour as I remembered saying my vows. How I was completely unaware of how broken he was.  
"But...Delirious died last night" I choked, my voice cracking on the word 'died'. I had to tense my muscles to stop myself from crying like a baby. "He...he was really depressed and....just couldn't see the good in the world anymore. I don't want to go in to detail about it but I just want to say a few things. 

Jonathan may of been my husband for a day but....but it feels longer than that. We dated for a whole year and it's a year I would go back a re-live all over again just to see him. There were times where he seemed happier than the richest man alive and other times were I thought he would of done something reckless at any time and unfortunately...he did. 

Jonathan was the bravest man I'll ever get to know. In the face of major depression, he still sat down, played video and laughed his ass off. If he can still smile through all the shit he went through...Then he is certainly the most strongest, courageous and bravest man I know. Rest in pepperoni's Jonathan, and I will always love you".


	45. Chapter 45

Mini P.O.V  
I rang Evan for the nth time today and he still wasn't answering his phone. I knew this was going to be hard for him, especially since it was his wedding day, but I didn't think he would ignore me.  
"Craig, give him some space. I know you mean well but if you died, I'd want the world to stay the fuck away from me." Tyler said, easing the phone out of my hand, "C'mon honey, lets go record some prop hunt or something.".

We played GTA for about half an hour until I couldn't resist it anymore, I was really worried for Evan and I had to call to see if he was okay.  
"I'm going to get some drinks, okay?" I told Tyler, kissing his cheek as I got up.  
"Okay babe" He replied, running over a hooker.  
I walked into the kitchen and picked up my phone. No new messages or calls.  
'Ugh, pick up this time you fag' I thought as I called his number again.  
"You're not calling him again, are you?" Tyler said, appearing in the doorway.  
I lowered the phone to my side. "He's our friend Tyler. Or more-so, family. I have to check if he's alright."  
"For fuck sake Craig, leave the bastard alone. If he can't sort out his fucked up head then leave the motherfucker to be mopey on his own" Tyler spat, leaning against the door frame. I was going to speak but I heard a tone come from my phone. Looking down, my phone read 'Evan Fong, Call ended, 00:18'.

I gulped, looking back at Tyler. I mustn't of look good because he paled and his voiced sound strangled.  
"Wh...what was that?" He asked, looking frightened. Full of rage, I picked up the car keys and pushed past him. I walked out the door and got into the car and Tyler got in too.  
"I..I didn't mean it like that! I swear, I didn't mean for him to hear!".  
"Then don't fucking say it then!" I shouted at Tyler, rage boiling inside of me.

I started up the car, put it in reverse and I raced out of our estate. I had to be fast, with Evan already depressed and now probably fired up with anger...I was scared for his well-being. I broke a few red lights and probably going to get a speeding ticket in the mail but I didn't care. We finally turned into Evan and Jonathans drive way.  
"Shit" I muttered, getting out of the car. The front door was ajar, as if someone forgot tho close it. The smell of burnt rubber was in the air and from looking under the car, there were burn out marks on the driveway.  
"I'm going to try call him" Tyler said, pulling out his phone and holding it to his ear. I decided to look inside the house to see if there was any indication of where he went.

The house looked like it was hit by a storm. If you can remember beast's room from 'Beauty and the Beast' when Belle explores the west wing for the first time, it looked kind of like that. I heard a jingle come from the living room and the pitter-patter of tiny paws on the floor. I looked inside and saw a tiny kitten with blue eyes under the couch, it was shaking with fear. I tried reached out for it but it hissed and swatted my hand away before cowering further under the couch. I sighed and left it alone to explore the rest of the house.

I ventured upstairs and explored the first room I came to, the bedroom. Inside, the blinds were pulled down so it was pretty dark except for a soft glow coming from Evans laptop, which was on the bed. I looked at it and saw that a video Evan had made a video in commemoration for Jonathan and had uploaded it. I checked the comments and they were full of messages, such as:  
'DELIRIOUS NUUUU D-': Rest in peace my friend'  
'this is a joke dw....right?'  
'Oh my god, I would of never guessed delirious was depressed :'-( I'm so sorry Vanoss '

I shook my head in sympathy and got off the bed. As I was leaving, I saw on a book shelf, on the other side of the room, that there was a teeny-tiny safe that was open.  
'Did Evan just grab some money and take off?' I wondered. I guess I wouldn't blame him if he did though, under his circumstances.

I went to the room across the hall, the bathroom. When I walked in I had to walk straight back out and try to hold down vomit, the room looked like it was sprayed with blood. I took a deep breath and walked in again. There was blood in the sink, some drops on the wall, and the mirror cabinet was broken and had some glass shards dotted with blood. I walked over to the sink and saw a blade in the middle of it. It reminded me of the time I self harmed and Evan and Jonathan came back from their vacation to help Tyler and I, they are the best-est friends I'll ever have. I went out to touch the blood covered blade but flinched back when Tyler ran in. 

"Dude" He panted, from running up the stairs, "He's...He's on a bridge...I think.. he's gonna-".  
Tyler didn't have to say more. I dragged him back down the stairs and into the car. Tyler was driving this time since he knew where Evan was due to the fact Evan seemed to of left his location on.

Hang in there Evan, you were there for me when I was depressed so we are going to be there for you.

~~~~

Few Minutes Later

~~~~~

Luckily, the bridge Evan was at was not too far from his house. We did a very shitty park on the side of the bridge and ran until we saw trying to climb a rail but it was raining so he kept slipping. Tyler got a burst of adrenaline, I'm guessing, and sprinted towards Evan, tackling him to the pavement. Evan fought Tyler off and raised... A FUCKING GUN AT HIM.  
'That's what was in the safe' I thought.

I skidded to a halt and put my hands up, trying to not look like a threat, but Evan stilled turned a pointed the gun at me. I looked him in the eyes and saw sadness, anger , and fear in them.  
"Evan" I spoke, softly, "Put the gun down...it's going to be okay".  
"NO ITS NOT CRAIG, SO FUCK OFF. JUST LET ME DIE, OKAY?? LET ME BE HAPPY FOR ONCE" He shouted at me, obviously boiling with rage and sorrow.  
"You don't know that" I prompted, smiling. Trying to make it seem like everything was okay, "You've got to go through the storm to get the sunshine ya'know."

"Well then...what THE FUCK DO I DO, IF MY SUNSHINE COMMITTED FUCKING SUICIDE.  
"Evan was hysterical, I couldn't tell if he was breathing weird or crying.  
"Evan" Tyler spoke up, looking like he was going to shit himself, "Jonathan is happy now. You made him so happy, I could tell but now, he is in a better place where he isn't going to be depressed ever again. Don't you wont that for him?", Evan slowly nodded, lowering the gun, "Yeah, so how about you come with us, okay? Everything is going to alright."

Evan lowered the gun to his side, letting his head hang to the floor as well. Tyler and I both looked at each other, unsure of what to do. When I looked back at Evan, he was shaking his head. 

Then...we were to late.

"EVAN NO"

*click*


End file.
